I must be in the minority, but I always lick my knife when I'm done

None of the other surgeons seem to do it !

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Four hundred years ago, the pagan minority in Salem learned a valuable lesson about dealing with religious fanaticism

Be careful what you witch for

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I might be in the minority, but I think Kanye West gets a bad rap.

And usually makes it worse.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of

The Quaranteens

πŸ‘︎ 27k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tecniklee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
It's also, done by A minor
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EviL-FeaR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?

Because there was gold in them/their hills!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cleverusername531
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Minor prophets and all that....
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dunadan37x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If you get hurt before you are 18, it’s just a minor injury.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talmax009
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I dated a minor once

He was practically inseparable from his pickaxe

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1tchy_mitchy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has a minor in psychology

I guess you could say she's a little... psycho

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?

You get a flat minor

πŸ‘︎ 159
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadrantbiz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't like music in the key of E minor

It gives me a case of the E G B Gs

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
E minor is a really spooky chord.

It just gives me the E B G B's

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JorWat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Reddit faces lawsuit for failing to remove child sexual abuse material

It is a minor issue

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravikiwi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the musician go to jail?

He punched A minor

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RVK_WAFFLE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Your car has been keyed

But the good news is that the damage appears to B minor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jimalexp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
No, You're a Minor
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxTrot2712
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I just published a book on how to prevent skin injuries and minor burns.

It’s non friction.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a minor accident at the practice

Accidentally played a major

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alex_Schemman
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I hurt my finger playing Minecraft

It’s okay. Just a minor injury

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What happened when pi had a minor inconvenience?

It got irrationally angry

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAshInTrash
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem

A minor inconvenience

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jesus_the_gamer69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between Michelob ultra and pure gold?

One is a minor fined, the other is a miner's find.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Today I Learned the term "blacklist" could be perceived to be offensive

So instead I will start to use the term "minority report"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awesomevindicator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Studies show that the Moderna and Pfizer vaccines are causing people to cry

While this is minor, doctors haven't seen this side effect with the Johnson & Johnson vaccine.

This is thanks to their no tears formula.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/salawm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I come from a musical house

I live in a flat

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bibimoebaba
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I started a new business farming microscopic fish

It's a small scale operation

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Chopin's Prelude in E-Minor is so great! And this pun too
πŸ‘︎ 129
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrobin111
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A minor inconvenience
πŸ‘︎ 216
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
A G walks into a bar in A minor and orders

A Gin&Subtonic

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jannehirsimaki
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Courtesy of Transport for Greater Manchester. May require minor football knowledge..
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchipelagoMind
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
The other day I was attacked by a bunch of children...

but it's okay since I only took minor damage.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/David-EN-
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
True story: My SO and I got into an minor argument while laying in bed last night. I jokingly exclaimed β€œomg, I literally cannot stand you!”

To which he replied, β€œgood thing you’re laying down”. Ugh.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zestylemonn
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A minor inconvenience
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealLameUserName
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I was reciting A, C, and E music notes in a bar. They kicked me out ...

They said no Minor allowed here . ..

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My kid wanted to join the orchestra. I said "sorry, but you're way too young for that…"

"…it has a lot of sax and violins."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PimplupXD
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My Math Professor takes days off from work by faking minor injuries.

I shouldn’t have taken a class with Dr. Fibin Ouchie.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors."

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I was the solo support act for minor local rock group, 'Nothing'. My set went terribly. I was out of tune, really nervous, the equipment was failing too. The crowd began to boo and leave in droves.

I said, "you ain't seen Nothing yet!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mittenshape
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.

It's in A flat minor.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrPeteO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Music theory puns
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LahavH
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Theseus briefly visited Crete

as part of his minor tour.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I hate the key E minor.

It gives me the E-B-G-Bs.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khanglikestowin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I hate the key of E minor.

It gives me the E-B-G-Bs.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Never pick a fight with a music teacher

You may think it’s A minor offense, but the punishment could B major

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotMetheThree
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the musician play that landed him in jail?

He played a D minor.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kboisno
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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