Bill Gates meets Arnold Schwarzenneger at a party and asks him if he's upgraded to Windows 10 yet? Big Arnie replies.......
"Ah still love Vista Baby....."
Today’s meeting topic is(drumroll please) why are we sitting on blocks of meet
If you meet a person who own a few thousand bees, marry them.
I'd like to meet the dentist that would handle this
I say ‘Mucho’ to every Spanish person I meet...
Apparently it means a lot to them.
My Wife is an Hour Late to Meet me at the Gym
I don't think we're going to workout afterall.
How did the Polish win at the athletics meet?
The stole the Poland ran away.
My date was supposed meet me at the gym but they didn't show up.
That's when I knew we weren't going to work out.
My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Wife: Dad, stop using the name Peter in the place of Penis. One day the kids will meet a kid named Peter.
Me (husband): I agree. This should be kept private.
Wife: groan...
I met Bono the other week and I said it was nice to meet him
he said "yeah, you too"
edited for spelling
It is so hot in my city that I decided to meet my ex
She gave me a cold shoulder.
Most of the attractive, single women I meet, are divorced...
I once took a trip to Seattle on a plane in which the stewards only served candy made when peanut butter meets milk chocolate...
I don't know how far this Reese eating airline goes...
I like to meet my girlfriend at 12:59
It's important to get that one-to-one time.
So I brought my girlfriend home to meet my parents. She looks like my mum, sounds like my mum, even dresses like my mum..
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
I got to meet the tallest man in the world last week.
I was disappointed by how he looked down on everyone else.
My friend asked me to meet him at the music store in 45.
I got there in 33, which is record speed.
Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me he said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"
Tomorrow, I get to meet Phil Collins
I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life
Where do clothespins meet?
When a Muslim dies, they meet their Mecca.
I told my date to meet me at the gym, but she didn’t show up.
I guess this means we can’t work out.
In other news...the Seven Dwarfs have been advised that they can only meet in groups of six.
When you meet someone with the same name as you!
Two antennas meet on a rooftop and decided to get married
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
... Just had my Appendix removed.
They say for this Christmas we can meet up with 8 people without any problems
I don’t know 8 people without problems
Why did the vegetable never meet his father?
Because he had a dead beet dad.
Due to all the COVID restrictions this year, a maximum of only 6 of the 7 dwarves could meet up
None of them were Happy :-(
I meet guy with a deer on the end of each arm.
This is more than meets the eye.
Because of the pandemic the 7 dwarves have been told they can only meet in groups of 6...
One of them is not Happy!
My Caribbean mate never seems too bothered when we arrange to meet up;
I think he might be from the 'K Man' islands
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
A group of people meet up and eat together every night. But they do not talk about it.
They are part of the bite club
“Meat” you or “meet” you?
Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020....
the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Thank you and have a nice day.
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn’t show up.
That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.
In the latest news... the Seven Dwarves have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six.
One of them is not Happy.
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