A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Why is the Justice League better than the Avengers?

It's Marvel-less

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggd_x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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Did they really think it through?

Marvel obviously ran out of names for their heroes. They named him "Antman". Wouldnt it just be better to name him "Uncle"?

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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My friend showed me his huge comic book collection...

It was quite a Marvel.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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People used to tell me I was going deaf...

...but I haven't heard anyone say that in a while.

Edit: You kids have made my day. I'd like to thank all of you for this marvelous chain of dadjokes.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2017
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My mate, Skippy, is a bit of a nerd. Just last night he spent 2 hours telling me about all the characters named Kang.

For instance, Kang the Conqueror is a fictional supervillain appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. In 2009, Kang was ranked as IGN's 65th Greatest Comic Book Villain of All Time

or

In the Simpsons , Kang is a Rigellian from Rigel 7. He and his sister Kodos continuously try to take over Earth and are usually seen attacking Springfield. Kang and Kodos have a lot of space weaponry at hand and have their own spaceship. They speak the Rigellian language, which, by coincidence, is identical to English. Although they look identical, Kang has a deeper voice than Kodos.

I guess you could say Skippy is a Kang Guru...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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Stan lee

Its sad he died but at least he lived a marvelous life

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imag6731
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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I think Stan Lee’s cameo in Captain America Civil War was...

general lee marvelous.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prunedada
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
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BEWARE MASSIVE CRINGE ALERT

i was at a wedding and one persons suit was marvel characters and my dad says "well that's just marvelous"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kicks008
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Need help on Avengers and Medical related pun

doing some last minute marketing, anyone can provide me medical related avengers/marvel pun? no matter how bad it is

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jakka_Jakka
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Just saw the new X-Men movie...

It was Marvelous!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
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My friend watched Captain Marvel yesterday.

He said it was Marvelous.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bodd19
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Eating fish makes you smarter

You’ve heard that eating fish makes you smarter? Well, here’s the proof!

A customer at the local grocery store marveled at the proprietor’s quick wit and intelligence.

β€œTell me, what makes you so smart?” he asked the owner.

β€œI wouldn’t share my secret with just anyone,” came the reply. Then, lowering his voice so the other shoppers wouldn’t hear, he continued. β€œBut since you’re a good and faithful customer, I’ll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you’ll be positively brilliant.”

β€œYou sell them here?” the customer asked.

β€œOnly $4 apiece,” said the grocer.

The customer quickly bought three. A week later, he was back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he wasn’t any smarter.

β€œYou didn’t eat enough,” replied the store owner, and the customer went home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he was back and this time he was really angry.

β€œHey,” he said, β€œYou’re selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2.You’re ripping me off!”

β€œYou see?” replied the grocer.β€œYou’re smarter already.”

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/eating-fish-makes-you-smarter/

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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DC movies are not

Marvel-ous

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Letitia Wright who plays Shuri in Plack Panther found out that Thomas Sanders called her a Disney Princess.

She was marveled.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alert_Coffee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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My dad on the new female Thor

"Marvel to introduce female Thor. Women's status in comic books has gone from bad to Norse."

πŸ‘︎ 256
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Novawurmson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
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Dadjoke'd my dad at dinner tonight

So my whole family went out for the traditional Jewish Christmas Eve dinner of Chinese food, and I marveled at how good the place was, since we'd never tried it out before. Dad says it was a recommendation from a friend of his who I didn't know; I asked what she did and he said she was a 2-year old nursery school teacher.

I replied, "Wow, she must be pretty advanced for a 2-year old if they let her teach nursery school!" My step-mom laughed, then looked at me, then back at my dad, and went "well, he's definitely got your sense of humor."

πŸ‘︎ 271
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2013
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100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
  • Allow => A-meow
  • Apology => A-paw-logy
  • Appalling => A-paw-ling
  • Attitude => Cat-titude
  • Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
  • Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
  • Because => Be-claws
  • Before => Be-fur
  • Bother => Bo-fur
  • Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
  • Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
  • Catch => Cat-ch
  • Clever => Claw-ver
  • Confusing => Con-fur-sing
  • Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
  • Different => Dif-fur-rent
  • Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
  • Familiar => Fur-miliar
  • Feeling => Feline
  • For => Fur
  • For real => Fur real
  • Forever => Fur-ever
  • Forget => Fur-get
  • Fortunate => Fur-tunate
  • Forward => Fur-ward
  • Friend => Fur-end
  • Furious => Fur-ious
  • Further => Fur-ther
  • Get or Got => Cat
  • Help me out => Help meow-t
  • History => Hiss-tory
  • Hysterical => Hiss-terical
  • Inferior => In-fur-ior
  • Kidding me => Kitten me
  • Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
  • Literally => Litter-ally
  • Literature => Litter-a-ture
  • Lost => Claw-st
  • Lying => Lion
  • Magnificent => Meow-nificent
  • Marvellous => Meow-velous
  • Minimum => Mew-nimum
  • Misery => Mew-sery
  • Moment => Mew-ment
  • Mountain => Meow-ntain
  • Move => Mew-v
  • Music => Mew-sic
  • Musician => Meow-sician
  • Never => Nev-fur
  • New => Mew
  • Now => Meow
  • Over => Ov-fur
  • Paper => Pay-purr
  • Pardon me => Paw-don me
  • Pause => Paws
  • Perfect => Purr-fect
  • Perhaps => Purr-haps
  • Permission => Purr-mission
  • Person => Purr-son
  • Personal => Purr-sonal
  • Persuasion => Purr-suasion
  • Places => Purr-laces
  • Please => Paw-lease
  • Portable => Paw-table
  • Positive => Paw-sitive
  • Possibility => Paw-sibility
  • Possibly => Paw-sibly
  • Precious => Purr-ecious
  • Prefer => Paw-fer
  • Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
  • Pretty => Purr-ty
  • Priceless => Purr-iceless
  • Prince => Purr-ince
  • Princess => Purr-incess
  • Puns => Purr-ns
  • Purpose => Purr-pose
  • Referring => Re-fur-ing
  • Respond => Res-paw-nd
  • Simple => Sim-paw-le
  • Suffer => Suf-fur
  • Superior => Su-purr-ior
  • Tale => Tail
  • Talent => Tail-ent
  • Tell => Tail
  • That’s all => Cat’s all
  • Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
  • Very => Furry
  • Whenever => Whene-fur
  • Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
  • You => Mew
  • Apologize => A-paw-logize
  • First => Furr-st
  • How are you? => Meow are mew?
  • Morning => Meowrning
  • Phon
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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On the job site

I'm an architect and visited a house with my boss and the client today which is nearly finished. We were talking about the marble counter he got for his bathroom and how nice it is.

My boss - "Yes, client, we really think you're doing a marvelous job with this so far..."

Me - "Maybe even a marbleous job"

silence

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PostPostModernism
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2014
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Dad jokes can be found anywhere

I walked into a Michaels store today and saw a sales sign that had fallen off its stand from one side.

The sales associate saw me looking at it and said, "If you were wondering, we are having a sideways sale!".

I couldn't resist. "Well, that explains why the prices had dropped by half! "

We knew what we did. It was marvelous.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subzero_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2015
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My friend will be a great dad someday

As I was driving and receiving directions from my friend in the back seat while my other friend was in the front seat I knew he would be a great dad.

Me: so turn here?

Backseat: yep take a left on Nichols (the street)

Frontseat friend: well I would rather turn on Dimes....

Followed by his own brand of slight chuckle. It was marvelous

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninshee
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
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Dad joked about the change to Thor

I was talking with my friend about the changes coming to the Marvel character Thor (him becoming a her). My father then pipes up and says "well if I had a sex change I'd be Thor too."

Mighty groans abound.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ulster_Celt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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My first dad joke.

While watching a Modern Marvels clip about vulcanized rubber I turned to my son and told him "It helped the tires to live long and prosper." He gave me nothing, my own dad however loved it.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Papawolf83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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I got my family yesterday on Father's day while eating pineapple sorbet.

We were at Disney marveling at the amount of pineapple sorbet they serve you (for $5, that is) when I said:

"Man, they just Dole it out, don't they?"

My brother just stared at me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuitGuySmitti
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
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My friend got me in the car.

Talking about video games.

Me 'yeah I like Forza.' Him 'but it has Marvel ultimate alliance too.' Me 'I like Forza better.' Him 'so you're a raceist?'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robsalt
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2014
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Dad joked at the theater [GotG after credits spoilers]

After the credits rolled in typical Marvel fashion, we had an easter egg, of Howard the Duck.

"Looks like the easter egg hatched, otherwise we wouldn't have seen Howard"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aybaran
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Just saw the new X-Men movie...

It was Marvelous

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2017
🚨︎ report

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