I couldn't believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return.
The wife kisses her husband on the cheek and says, "Merry Christmas, hun! Don't get up, I have a surprise for you - as your first Christmas present, I'm going to make you your favorite breakfast in bed... Eggs Benedict!"
"Wow, great!" says the husband, propping himself up in bed as his wife scampers away to the kitchen.
A little time and lots of clanging and cooking later, the wife returns with a beautiful plate of Eggs Benedict - fresh and steaming hot on a plate.
The husband smiles from ear to ear as he takes the plate from his wife, but gets a slightly quizzical look on his face when he notices that the plate is one he's never seen before. Instead of their usual dinnerware, this plate is a shiny, silvery metallic one.
"This is wonderful, darling!" the husband says, "But what's with the fancy plate, did you get it special for today?"
"Of course I did," beams the wife, "it's Christmas!..."
"... There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"
The kids were nothing to look at either.
... but being the best dad you can be is a step farther!
I came over and no one was home.
They met at the aquarium and just clicked
Only a few of the rednecks I know actually bother to get married.
I've heard sand witches are often inbred
I canβt say I do.
They think love is pointless.
But not the ones she gives me today π
They will always say Nay when you propose
There werenβt enough Pew Pew Pews.
She heard he was loaded.
I donβt want to start any problems but shouldnβt that be an even number?
You cantaloupe
Heβs over the moon !
The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
HollapiΓ±os
Because its at the end of the rope.
Him and the Mare had been in a "Stable Relationship" for quite a while.... then got married.... but later eventually ended up getting "Div-horsed"
He asks: Do you know what your symptoms are?
I replied: I can't say I do
Thereβs a couple of things you should think about
On one hand you get to wear a cool ring
On the other hand you donβt
Feyonce.
She found her boo.
We have a toxic relationship.
Mrs Hippy
>!...would she be Ella Vader?!<
She was The Prints-less Bride.
Yea right, like my son is gonna marry someone twice his age
Because they cantaloupe
He gave her a ring.
Guess itβs going to be a busy 4 days.
Lord of the Rings.
It's just a marriage of convenience.
The seemed to be making a lot of Wookie
For the reception.
I have to warn you. Never get a room next to the elevator!
Their kids weren't much to look at either.
On the one hand you get to wear a cool ring.
On the other hand you donβt.
The ceremony was going great, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
Feyonce.
Because love means nothing to them.
