A police officer told a coffee maker "you're under arrest"!

The coffee maker asked "on what grounds"?

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the cheese-maker say after he made a dog out of cheese?

What a Gouda boy!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/multiplefroggs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I own a solar powered food maker.

It's an apple tree.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do pizza makers go to work everyday?

They knead the dough.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthewendigo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
The wine makers have increased production

Apparently they are having a very grape day.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
Called my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, could you please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?" She answered, "Yeah..."

"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ice cream maker use to water his garden?

A sprinkle system.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
How do German bread makers greet each other at the beginning of the day?

They say "Gluten Morgen!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Instead of water, I accidentally put RedBull in the the back of my coffee maker this morning.

I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cheese maker say to his wife when he divorced?

Don’t brie upset, it’s for the greater gouda

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_owo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do sausage makers love migratory seabirds?

Because it takes a tern for the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuillofNumenor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a pasta maker’s favorite children’s story?

Pi-gnocchi-o

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xkrazijayx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The makers of these limes clearly watch CNN
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manford5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bearded vase maker?

Hairy potter.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A man's wife decided to become a whiskey-maker.

He loved her still.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stupidllama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Coffee maker asks the coffee pot...

"Where's all the coffee?"

Coffee pot replies, "We were mugged."

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rick--Diculous
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a board game maker do when discussing their ideas?

They monopolize the conversation

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamayurt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I met my wife when she was a whiskey maker

I love her still.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
When making authentic Belgium waffles, how much batter should you add to the waffle maker?

About a waffull.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My coffee maker said some really horrible things about me while it was brewing my coffee.

That’s the last time I have a dark roast.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?

Silverware.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blobmouth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the second-rate toy plastic brick maker become obsessed?

Because he just couldn’t Lego.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the telephone maker propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring!!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?

They are not making any scents πŸ‘ƒπŸΌ

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rapswell
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My cheating girlfriend has a job as a whiskey maker....

I love her still

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djkp7211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
That desert heat must have started getting to the sign makers
πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Saddam Hussein and cheese makers have in common?

They both had curds in their whey.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemonsarethekey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Some lady beat me out for the job at the pottery makers...

I would have kiln for that job.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A lawyer and a law maker had been in an argument for several years, escalating into a bet to see who would break the law first. The lawyer then found himself in a trial against the law maker.

The law maker was outlawed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N1ch0l2s
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the bread maker say to his wife?

I knead you.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motelcoconut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the sausage maker call his sausage slicer?

In his casing, it was a knife

(credit to K)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2piix
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are all shoe makers going to heaven?

They have good soles.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/6lesbianlover9
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
After he installs the new granite surfaces in your kitchen, does the Cabinet Maker hand you

a counter fit bill?

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I took apart the coffee maker to clean it but can't figure out how to put it back together.

My wife says this is grounds for divorce...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do they send the craziest of pun-makers?

The Punitentiary

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheThurmanator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?

He just couldn't get a handle on it

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the man have a moment of clarity after he bought a coin maker?

Because it all made cents now.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiveTheTurkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the pasta-maker get into his house?

He had gnocchi

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NateDaGreat79
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Parisian pancake maker who asks too many personal questions?

Crepe-y

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deter86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Germany's best joke-maker machine?

The Punzer

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaziJewish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Parisian pancake maker who asks too many personal questions? reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deter86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I own a solar powered food maker...

It's a apple tree.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

πŸ‘︎ 208
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Time to meet your maker!

Said the coffee maker to the coffee beans

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeanW137
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on."

After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah," she replied, "…but I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2017
🚨︎ report

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