What sex position makes the ugliest babies?

Ask your mom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/streety22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Doctor: Here is your newborn baby but we are sorry that your wife didn’t make it

Me: Please bring me the one my wife made

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sorry4ThisBut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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I’ve decided to make an elite army of babies

I’ll call them The Infantry

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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We're doing everything right, I don't understand why we can't make a baby.

It's inconceivable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Persons1001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What is a baby deer’s favorite cheese dip to make with his mother?

Fawn-doe

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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As a doctor, I never make a joke about an unvaccinated baby.

But let me give it a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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If crows make black babies & doves make white babies, what makes no babies?

...Swallows

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youngtrafford87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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How-do-we-make-babies joke

Okay, so this is my first post, so be gentle there. It s more a funny thing my dad did to mess with us than a dad joke. Our parents explained it to us , so i don t have the dialogues here. When we were little, my brother and I of course asked my parents how do we make babies, because we wanted a little bro or sis and they did not wanted us to get one. So we asked them how babies are made. They explained to us that you need 3 things ; a mother's belly , dad's seeds and a little bit of love. That was cute, they said that daddy had to put his seeds in mummy 's belly with the love. When we asked how, they told us to guess -this is why we thought babies were made by the bellybutton, they did really had fun with us- and then, finally, we asked them why they would not make us a little brother then. My father, had this brilliant idea to mess with us, which we sometimes did not notice, as we were little. He basically told us with a huge smile accros his face :" You know what ? If you find the good seeds, we'll make you one". My mother laughed but we took it seriously. We have apparently searched for hours even going in the basement, searching in mom's gardening seeds, ripping of the labels and bringing them to the parents to ask if these were the good ones . We eventually got fed up, and never asked my parents to have a sibling again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/calam_n_fish
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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Midwife (handing me the baby): Make sure you’re supporting his head.

Me: That’s a great head you have there, Well done!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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As the taxi raced towards the hospital, my wife cried, "The baby's coming! Don't stop the car! I can't make it! DON'T! CAN'T! WON'T!"

"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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I don't know why people make aircraft noises when feeding baby.

Kids hate plain food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickenMobile
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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So the doctor hands me the baby and tells me my wife didn't make it reddit.com/r/3amjokes/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOscarFedz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
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Why won't I ever make a water feature on top of a hill where a lot of baby horses are buried?

My mom taught me to never make fountains out of foal hills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geckothegeek42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
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I'm gonna make like a baby...

...and head out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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When we have a kid I want to make Asian baby food!

Me: Well, that seem unethical.

Wife: Because it's healthy?

Me: I don't see why it's healthy or ethical to eat asian babies.

Wife: ...I meant Asian food for babies.

Me: Oh! Well that makes more sense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/monopanda
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
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As a doctor, I never make jokes about an unvaccinated baby.

But I think I’ll give it a shot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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"I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it," A doctor said as he handed a man his newborn baby.

The man handed the baby back to the doctor. "Then bring me the one my wife did make."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorJaywah
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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Midwife, handing over the newborn baby: Make sure you support his head.

Dad: Sure. What a great head you got there. Well done!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."

The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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