The guard asked him what he was doing he said he lost his friend the guard said ok what's your name he said "shut up" the guard asked again in a stern voice Whats your name the boy said "shut up" the guard got angry and yelled "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?" the boy replied"yes do you know where I can find him?"
Nothing, it’s on the house
It really tests your limits.
Better get there quick, they're running low on Thyme!
Just one byte and everything crashed.
How do I break it to them?
Research published in the British Psychological Society's journal, The Psychologist recently used r/DadJokes among other sources:
"How, for one thing, are we to make sense of the apparent popularity of dad jokes given that they are explicitly said to be ‘unfunny’? Even those definitions of the genre that do not specifically use the word ‘unfunny’ include similar slights, calling them ‘lame’ (Dictionary.com), ‘hackneyed’ (OED), or ‘embarrassingly bad’ (Urban Dictionary). Yet many people clearly find dad jokes funny in some sense. On the popular social network Reddit, the community r/DadJokes, which is specifically dedicated to sharing dad jokes, has a staggering 8.8 million members."
and found that:
"By continually telling their children jokes that are so bad that they’re embarrassing, fathers may push their children’s limits for how much embarrassment they can handle. They show their children that embarrassment isn’t fatal. For a child who is approaching or has entered adolescence, which appears to be a sensitive period for sociocultural processing (Blakemore & Mills, 2014), this is an immensely valuable lesson. In this sense, dad jokes may have a positive pedagogical effect, toughening up the kids who are begrudgingly exposed to them."
M. Hye-Knudsen, The Psychologist, March 14, 2023.
https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/dad-jokes-thats-way-eye-roll
A policeman stops a woman for driving over the speed limit. The policeman approaches the window and the woman says to the cop:”I thought that you didn’t give ticket to pretty women”The policeman answers:”Actually, we don’t. So sign here please.”
And at my desk I have a workstation....
I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. You know, wondering who I am… I put up with a lot of crap every single day, like it’s my job. And almost every time I put up with this stuff, I just feel wiped.
So my question is this: If I were the opening at the end of the alimentary canal through which solid waste matter leaves the body, WIBTA?
Their asymp-totes
His condition has been described as stable.
Once you reach the state limit, it's OK.
……its pretty handy!
It knows its days are numbered
But he's okay: his condition is stable.
Just wait until Word gets out...I know this is a terrible joke, but it just came to me and I had to get it out of my system. Thank you, Reddit.
Which made me sad. cause I wanted to an astronaut.
"We don't need another Gyro."
I don't hate all Calculus, just Sum.
The bartender, after having owned the bar for 20+ years, tells the customer, "I've seen some crazy things go on in this bar and in this town. I don't think you can do it. You're on."
The customer reaches in his pocket, and pulls out a man who stands 10" tall. He tells the bartender, "watch this." Then tells the little man, "how about beethoven's 5th?"
The small man goes to the piano, climbs onto the stool, and plays beethoven's 5th symphony flawlessly.
With his mind properly blown, the bartender slides his customer a beer.
An hour later, the same customer challenges the tender to the same bet, who again, obliges.
The customer pulls a genie lamp from another pocket and tells the owner, "this genie has no limits. Make a wish."
In disbelief, he says, "alright, I wish I had a million bucks."
The bar immediately fills with white-feathered birds.
"I WISHED FOR BUCKS, NOT DUCKS!!"
The customer replied, "when was the last time you wished you had a 10 inch pianist in your pants?
He wants to be an astronaut.
It's illegal to drink and derive.
So I pushed her over.
Sadly, his brother Frank was a monster.
Psychiatrist: That is the strangest case of parking sons disease I have come across so far.
Shared by my 11-year-old tonight...
You divide the distance raptor by the time raptor.
They said it wasn't working out.
Good Evening mam, do you know the speed limit is 45 km/h here? Why were you going at 55?
Oh sorry, the old lady replies. I thought the interstate number was the speed limit.
So, would you mind telling me why the others are shaking in the back?
Oh that. We just got off from Interstate 120.
Though, I forgot to ask about his cosine.
Its <3
Pilot on me!!
Teacher ask me why, I told him I was drunk. He replied, “never drink and derive.”
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
The evidence just didn’t add up.
Because one more would be too farty.
It was an apple with very limited memory.
It was an Apple with very limited memory.
Just 1 byte and everything crashed!
He wants to be an astronaut.
