My Son told me he wanted to be an independent archeologist.
I told him he'd just be digging a hole for himself
The sign says gas is $4.04 a gallon.
5 year old daughters first independent joke: What is a cats favourite colour?
Purrrrrr-ple
High fives all round!
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom! (credit: Bazooka Joe)
Where did they sign the Declaration of Independence?
At the bottom of the page.
I just heard 4th of July celebrations are cancelled this year.
Due to our lack of independence.
I want to become more independent...
But no one will help me :(
Why doesn’t Fire like Independence Day?
Because Fire works on the 4th of July
I met a strong independent spork today
She told me she don’t need no knife
Are Chiropractors Open on Independence Day?
Seems like they'd get tired of all the Back & Fourth.
What is the best tea to drink on Independence Day?
[REAL] My son has moved up a level in swim class
Up until this point he's been swimming with me or Mom during class. This is the first level where he swims independently with a teacher. My wife was nervous about it, but I said:
"Don't worry, I'm sure it will go swimmingly."
Rode that high for a day or two.
Guide to being a Successful Father
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Value kids for what they are. They are the only ones who know how to undo child-proof bottles of aspirins when you've got a splitting headache.
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Teach a nubile daughter by all means the old Christian saying that, 'you can't take it with you', but that doesn't mean she should start to give it away early.
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Discourage your daughter from wearing skirts which will give her chapped buttocks, and your son from wearing jeans making him liable to arrest for indecent enclosure.
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Teach your kids independence. Tell them that if they ever need a helping hand, there's one at the end of their arm.
The political climate is so polarizing these days that even Do, Re and Mi decided to form their own independent left leaning musical scale and vote Democratic.
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
How are one handed people so independent?
Because they do everything single-handedly.
What did the starfish sing when they gained independence?
Sea stars are doin' it for themselves
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
What did Slovakia say when they gained independence?
Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia.”
Student: “False. It was written in ink.”
Did you hear that cats have carried out a Coup in Barcelona and declared independence from Spain?
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
Why aren't there any Independence Day knock knock jokes?
Cuz freedom rings!!
Happy Fourth of July guys!
I was watching Mysteries at the Museum with my 8-year old daughter when they showed the quills used to write the Declaration of Independence, Constitution & Bill or Rights.
My daughter said, "that makes them the founding feathers, dad."
I've never been so proud.
Artists are independent thinkers.
They draw their own conclusions.
My daughter wants to do more things on her own, so I told her to put a picture of herself in a locket
Then she would be independent.
I heard they put the declaration of independence in a museum,
They renamed it the decoration of independence.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!”
The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
Actually if Scotland votes for independence it won't be so bad
Because the rest of the UK will get away scot-free.
I consider myself a fairly independent man but I needed a car.
So by my own accord, I decided to buy my own Accord
Before attacking the alien spaceship in Independence Day the General tells his pilots to fire at will.
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
If Scotland votes YES on its independence referendum...
... then rest of Britain will go away scot-free.
I put a picture of myself in a locket...
You could say, I'm Independent.
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed ?
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
I bought my daughter a locket and put her picture in it.
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