Those brother in law pun skills
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︎ Mar 31 2018
Those brother in law pun skills
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︎ Oct 03 2019
My dad asked me if I had heard of Murphy's Law
I said "Yes, dad. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong".
He then asked me if I had heard of Coles Law
"No, dad. What is that one"?
He says, "thinly sliced cabbage".
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︎ Jul 02 2021
Whatβs the difference between in-laws & out-laws?
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︎ Apr 28 2021
My Mother-in-law is 80% Irish
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︎ Jun 04 2021
What does a law student and a recovering alcoholic have in common?
They both have to pass the bar
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︎ Jun 24 2021
They passed a law banning hindsight
I wish I knew this beforehand
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︎ Jun 17 2021
What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his mother-in-law?
Nothing, he was gladiator.
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︎ Jun 22 2021
it is against the law to pester and bother the large aquatic grass eating animals
this is considered crimes against hugh manatee
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︎ Jun 26 2021
Due to complaints, Hawaii passed a law where you're not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel
You can only use a low ha
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︎ Apr 27 2021
In Texas it's illegal to serve pie without ice cream.
As a matter of Texan pride; remember the Γ la mode.
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︎ Jun 13 2021
My wife and I were really happy for 20 years ...
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︎ May 28 2021
An unprepared law student walked into a bar exam...
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︎ Jun 13 2021
A good lawyer knows the law...
A great lawyer knows the judge.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
What kind of sick bird breaks the law?
An ill eagle
(Credit to my first grader π)
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︎ May 20 2021
The mayor in my city just passed law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week
Well itβs not a law itβs a mandate
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Did you hear about the law they just passed in Hawaii prohibiting loud laughter?
Your laughter must be kept to a low "Ha".
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︎ May 21 2021
My mums sister keeps taking the law into her own hands...
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︎ May 21 2021
Whatβs the difference between a Rottweiler and a mother in law
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︎ May 12 2021
How much does a rainbow weigh?
Not much, they're actually pretty light!
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︎ Jun 26 2021
I asked my future father-in-law for his daughter's hand in marriage.
He said I hope you take the rest of her too!!
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Just remembered a classic my brother-in-law dropped after my niece was born (A couple months ago)
My mother FaceTimed me so I could show her my sister and her baby
I went into my sister's room and said, "Hey mom wants to see you. Can you say a quick hello?"
Sister: Sure but just for a minute, I'm exhausted.
BIL, without dropping a beat: Hi exhausted, I'm a new dad!
Old but gold
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Took me a while
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I heard that by law you need to turn on your headlights when itβs raining in Sweden
How the hell am I supposed to know when itβs raining in Sweden?
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︎ Nov 08 2020
An Astrologist and Law Enforcement Officer are on a date
Astrologist: Iβm an Aries, whatβs your sign?
Cop: Iβm a LEO.
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︎ Mar 15 2021
I was lecturing on the criminal law concept of hot pursuit, and I asked there were any questions.
A student asked "what if you're ugly?'
As an old dad, I was befuddled for a moment before asking "did you just tell a dad joke?" She grinned, and I commissioned her as a dad on the spot.
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︎ Apr 09 2021
What is the difference between a outlaw and a in-law?
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︎ Mar 24 2021
What do lawyers wear in court?
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︎ Jun 09 2021
Dad joke face off
I have been challenged to a dad joke face off. I need at least 20 dad jokes that will make someone laugh before I do to win a tournament. Give me your best!
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︎ Jun 01 2021
I told my mother-in-law there's a leek in her sink.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Has anyone heard of the recent Coleβs Law?
Some say coleslaw should not have Mayo...
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︎ Mar 10 2021
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives
I replied, no, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Three women were on the run from the law (A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead).
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks.
The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow."
"Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says.
The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof."
"That's just a sack of puppies" they say.
The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Mother in law came for dinner and asked, "Why does your dog keep staring at me?"
"Because you're using his plate."
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Everybody knows about Murphyβs Law, but far fewer people are aware of Coleβs Law
Itβs finely shredded cabbage in mayonnaise.
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︎ Dec 27 2020
What do you call a relative who doesn't speak truth?
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︎ Jun 17 2021
Laughing at the Law
A game warden caught a man fishing without a licence "You're going to have to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket," said the warden.
"But officer," the fisherman replied, "I didn't catch these - they are my pet fish and I just bring them here to swim. When they're done, they jump back in the bucket."
"Oh, really? This i've got to see. If you can prove it, i'll let you go without a fine."
The fisherman emptied the bucket into the lake and waited patiently. A few minutes went by and nothing happened.
"So where are the fish?" asked the warden.
"What fish?"
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Where do sharks go on summer vacation
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︎ Jun 22 2021
my brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey. it took him a while but eventually he...
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︎ Nov 20 2020
Laws
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Due to noise complaints, they passed a law in Hawaii that youβre no longer allowed to laugh above a certain decibel...
Now you can only use a low ha
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︎ Apr 27 2021
Did you know in the 1950βs Hawaii passed a law that people were not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel due to too many noise complaints?
Now you can only do a-low-ha
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︎ May 19 2021
When is it against the law to have a sick bird?
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︎ May 04 2021
Did you hear about the alcoholic law student?
She couldn't pass the bar.
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︎ May 04 2021
You've heard of Newton's laws, but have you heard of Cole's law?
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︎ Feb 23 2021
Murphy's Law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Have you heard of Cole's Law?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
We've all heard of Murphy's Law...
But have you heard of Cole's Law?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
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