Kudos to u/PriyanshuWestern131
πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aadhar690
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Kudos to this brilliant man
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nedegame
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my wife that I would never take her for granite.

Though, I probably would for marble.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jhench78
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my horse if she stole my thesaurus

She said "nope"

πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jedispartan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t horses eat spicy food?

It gives them the trots.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants

Turns out she was only with me for my mussels

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MJBGaming
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend left me because I stole her wheelchair...

but I knew she'd come crawling back.

πŸ‘︎ 99
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you keep an idiot in suspense...

[text has been deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: "Mom, Dad.. I'm gay" [x-post from /r/jokes]

Son: "Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"

Mom: *staring at dad

Dad: ...*clenches fists

Mom: ...don't!

Dad: *sweats profusely

Mom:

Dad: HI GAY, IM DAD

Kudos to @Lerky on Twitter

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rplusg
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2015
🚨︎ report
If Metallica went to the Jim Henson school of Arts and Media...

Would they graduate with a Master of Puppets?

(Kudos to my brother for this one.)

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GIFman2000
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What US state has the most Christmas spirit?

Idaho-ho-ho!

Kudos to my 9 year old son for coming up with this on his own.

πŸ‘︎ 153
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/intensenerd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
🚨︎ report
I think that girl over there has a particularly two-dimensional donkey.

Kudos if you figured it out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitty_Dragon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2017
🚨︎ report
This dad got a police dispatcher good.

Dispatcher: Hello this is 911 what's your emergency?

Dad: Yeah hi, I was just walking through the woods and I found a suitcase in a bush and inside there's a fox and 4 cubs.

Dispatcher: Oh my god, that's horrible. Are they moving?

Dad: I don't know to be honest, but that would explain the suitcase.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmonkey86
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Got dadjoked by my Captain

We were going over our rope rescue equipment and I noticed that part of the rope was becoming worn.

Me: "Hey Captain. There's a spot here that looks a little worn, should we be worried."

Captain: "We should be afraid."

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad got my boys today. Grandpas still got it.

Granddad: Did you take a shower at my house?

Kids: yes.

Granddad: Well I'm gonna need you to put it back.

Old man has still got it.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nigelpoole
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.