Pets I want to have....
An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named Beeyoncé. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.
a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Okay, punmeisters. I need to come up with as many butterfly-themed name puns, and have run out of ideas.
Here's what I have so far:
Mary Posa (Mariposa=butterfly in Spanish)
Coco Oon (Cocoon)
Poppy Ong (Papillon?)
Larry Va (Larva)
Madame Butterfly/Monsieur Butterfly
...mainly I need at least one more guy's name.
This is for a comic I'm doing where all the henchpeople inexplicably have butterfly names.
Dad sent this yesterday. Ouch.
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
Mom, Dad and I go out to dinner at Iron Hill.
Waitress : Hi! My name is Katie and I'll be your server tonight.
Dad : Hi Katie! I'm Jim, this is James and that's Sue and we will be your eaters tonight!
Me : God Dammit Dad.
My niece made a gingerbread house yesterday, and my mom got drunk and accidentally broke it last night. Me, my dad and my wife were rebuilding it just now. My wife his holding up a couple walls while my dad is applying the frosting to hold them together.
Dad: how you doing Katie? Wife: fine, I'm holding up....
Pretty good wife, pretty good.
I was group messaging both my parents.
me: the Smithsonian panda cam is back up
dad: I'm just absolutely thrilled.
me: you should be
mom: unlike your father, I am very happy
dad: Katie (my mom's name), you're just panda-ring to her.
After neither my mom nor I responded to the joke, he continued with: nobody liked by punda