Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
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︎ May 14 2021
Fun fact: Julius Caesar never told his men "Good job".
This is likely because he couldn't speak English.
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︎ May 19 2021
Why did Julius Caesar, after having an epileptic fit, during the time he was a hostage of pirates, immediately need a dictionary?
As Caesar's seizure ceased at sea, he said "I'm sleepy" and grabbed some zzz's.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
I was angry when Julius Caesar was killed
I was absolutely 50 1 5 1 500
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︎ Mar 18 2021
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to Starbucks?
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︎ Feb 26 2021
A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar
... He came, he saw, he conquered
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Itβs a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.
Also known as a Julius Seizure.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.
Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."
(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. Iβm 31 years old.)
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︎ Aug 31 2020
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers
And says "Give me five beers".
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︎ Sep 13 2020
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
My son asked me why I call him Julius whenever we go fishing
That's cause he's a row-man
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Julius in culius
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︎ Jun 07 2019
What did Julius Ceasar say upon finding out his friend slept with an unattractive person?
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︎ Feb 26 2020
What did Julius Ceasar say when he experienced a stabbing pain due to his allergies?
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︎ Feb 25 2020
In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him
So I came, I sawed, I coloured
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︎ Oct 23 2019
What did Julius Ceasar say after a disappointing sip of his overly sweet orange juice?
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︎ Feb 27 2020
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
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︎ Jan 28 2020
Julius Caesar was stabbed several times by his own congress
Making him, contrary to popular belief, the first holey Roman emperor
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︎ Nov 16 2018
I can't believe Julius Caesar invaded France
Like honestly, he had the Gaul to do that? Wow
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︎ Jul 11 2019
what did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
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︎ Nov 21 2019
Whatβs the square root of Orange Julius?
We donβt square roots here, we juice oranges. Get back to work!
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︎ Feb 13 2020
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
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︎ Sep 01 2019
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at the Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
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︎ Mar 16 2019
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
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︎ May 29 2019
There was a Cajun Chef named Julius Caesar
who said to his Sous Chef, βEtouffΓ©e Brute?β
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︎ Jun 27 2019
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
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︎ Nov 07 2019
Julius Caesar walks into a bar...
He says, βIβll have a martinus.β
Bartender asks βYou mean martini?β
Julius Caesar replies βIf I wanted more than one, I would have asked for it.β
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︎ Sep 05 2018
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
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︎ Oct 23 2018
Why did Dwayne Johnson never lose in the hand game against Julius?
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︎ Oct 07 2018
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
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︎ Mar 27 2018
At a soccer match with Julius Caesar, Brutus asked, "What's the score, O Caesar?" Caesar replied...
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︎ Jun 12 2017
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
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︎ Mar 15 2016
I tried to make a joke about Julius Caesar at work today, but it was all over the place...
I guess you could say the joke was roamin'.
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︎ Oct 11 2017
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
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︎ Aug 29 2017
TIL that Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
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︎ Apr 29 2017
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
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︎ Apr 28 2015
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
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︎ Nov 27 2016
While we were shopping for the kids' school supplies this year, I read at the list and told my son to look for a one foot tall statue of Julius Caesar.
My wife rolled her eyes and tossed a 12 inch ruler in the cart.
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︎ Aug 01 2016
A sperm, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
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︎ Nov 13 2020
A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Jun 14 2020
A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Oct 15 2018
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Jul 24 2019
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar
He came, He saw and He conquered
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︎ May 26 2019
What did Julius Caesar say after he conquered a brothel?
π︎ 116
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︎ Oct 01 2017
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
π︎ 112
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︎ Oct 05 2018
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