Avoid marathons where Julius or Little participate. It's dangerous to run with Caesars.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Fun fact: Julius Caesar never told his men "Good job".

This is likely because he couldn't speak English.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pmbasehore
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Julius Caesar, after having an epileptic fit, during the time he was a hostage of pirates, immediately need a dictionary?

As Caesar's seizure ceased at sea, he said "I'm sleepy" and grabbed some zzz's.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I was angry when Julius Caesar was killed

I was absolutely 50 1 5 1 500

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeHL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Julius Caesar say when he went to Starbucks?

Veni vidi venti!!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/not_flexy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar

... He came, he saw, he conquered

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.

Also known as a Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.

Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."

(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)

πŸ‘︎ 155
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vforvegas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers

And says "Give me five beers".

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BumperBabyAngel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?

Because he had so many lesions.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My son asked me why I call him Julius whenever we go fishing

That's cause he's a row-man

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robot-kun
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Julius in culius
πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Captainspookle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Julius Ceasar say upon finding out his friend slept with an unattractive person?

A two, Brute?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Julius Ceasar say when he experienced a stabbing pain due to his allergies?

Achoo, Brute!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him

So I came, I sawed, I coloured

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Julius Ceasar say after a disappointing sip of his overly sweet orange juice?

Meh. Too fruity.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?

Because she lived in the Nile

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/princezornofzorna
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar was stabbed several times by his own congress

Making him, contrary to popular belief, the first holey Roman emperor

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kisskissyesyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I can't believe Julius Caesar invaded France

Like honestly, he had the Gaul to do that? Wow

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IAmEdgy03
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
what did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?

You're my romeboy.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XxpandamanxX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the square root of Orange Julius?

We don’t square roots here, we juice oranges. Get back to work!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LumpadBFarby
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?

Hail Caesar

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at the Theatre of Pompey

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?

Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...

Brutus: I ate 2 slices.

Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amanbbi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:

"Achoo, Brute?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RampantSavagery
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a Cajun Chef named Julius Caesar

who said to his Sous Chef, β€œEtouffΓ©e Brute?”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/piratesox
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Julius Caesar like his water?

Rome temperature.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar walks into a bar...

He says, β€œI’ll have a martinus.”

Bartender asks β€œYou mean martini?”

Julius Caesar replies β€œIf I wanted more than one, I would have asked for it.”

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?

They always kill me.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EricICX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Dwayne Johnson never lose in the hand game against Julius?

Rock beats Caesars.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blindspot7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2018
🚨︎ report
At a soccer match with Julius Caesar, Brutus asked, "What's the score, O Caesar?" Caesar replied...

"8-2, Brutus."

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Big-Red-Dog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar

But Julius is too shy to talk to her

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSnuhhh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2016
🚨︎ report
I tried to make a joke about Julius Caesar at work today, but it was all over the place...

I guess you could say the joke was roamin'.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daereius
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
🚨︎ report
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?

Carpet dem.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zoolilba
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2017
🚨︎ report
TIL that Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.

His name? Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvenDeeper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
🚨︎ report
Julius Caesar

Was a well dressed romaine.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Evthma
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2015
🚨︎ report
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?

The Caesarean section.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2016
🚨︎ report
While we were shopping for the kids' school supplies this year, I read at the list and told my son to look for a one foot tall statue of Julius Caesar.

My wife rolled her eyes and tossed a 12 inch ruler in the cart.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GatemouthBrown
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
🚨︎ report
A sperm, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar

He came, he saw, he conquered

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a lumberjack, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 215
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar

He came, He saw and He conquered

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Julius Caesar say after he conquered a brothel?

Vici, vidi, veni

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theEluminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2017
🚨︎ report
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

πŸ‘︎ 112
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.