Why didn't Jesus give Judas a second chance?

Because Jesus didn't want to be double crossed

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👤︎ u/Nichi789
📅︎ Apr 17 2021
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I hope everyone's having a...

Good Friday.

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📅︎ Apr 02 2021
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Where does Brutus do his grocery shopping?

Traitor Joe's

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📅︎ Feb 05 2021
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What do you call a priest who just became a lawyer?

Father In Law

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👤︎ u/itbug
📅︎ Sep 06 2018
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If the disciple that betrayed Jesus appeared in Veggietales, what vegetable would he be?

Judas Isacarrot.

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👤︎ u/atrix324
📅︎ May 03 2019
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Funny quotes from Blackadder the Third

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Morning, Mr. B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Leave me alone, Baldrick. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market.

[Referring to a suicide pill they have both been given, after being captured by French revolutionaries]

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): I’m glad to say you won’t be needing that pill, Mr. B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words “I have a cunning plan” marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): They certainly are.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Well, forgive me if I don’t do a cartwheel of joy; your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): We do nothing …

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Yup, it’s another world-beater.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): No, wait. We do nothing … until our heads have actually been cut off.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): And then we … spring into action?

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): [to Baldrick] Unless I think of something, tomorrow we go to meet our Maker: in my case God, in your case God knows.

Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Sounds like a bag of grapefruits to me, Mr B.

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): The phrase, Baldrick, is “a case of sour grapes” – and yes it bloody well is.

Mrs. Miggins: The Scarlet Pimpernel, Mr. Blackadder! He’s so exciting, don’t you think?

Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Actually, I think he’s the most over-rated human being since Judas Iscariot won the AD31 Best Disciple Competition.

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/funny-quotes-from-blackadder-the-third/

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👤︎ u/tfraymond
📅︎ Sep 09 2019
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Count Dracula

One.

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📅︎ May 06 2017
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...Heavy Metal Toyota?

Dad: Hey, These cars these days are all plastic and can't take a single hit, they should make a toyota out of heavy metal. Me:Wut? Dad: Yeah, they could make a heavy metal toyota and call it.... "Judas Prius"

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📅︎ Aug 04 2015
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