Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff Bezos stepped down from CEO of Amazon...

It's too bad.

He was in his Prime.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Such a shame that Jeff Bezos is stepping down from Amazon.

He really is in his prime.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to bed?

He puts his pyjamazon

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPudding
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Jeff Bezos get divorced?

His marriage was unionized

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DO_doc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the cop say after opening Jeff Dahmer's refrigerator ?

"He really had a cool head."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Jeff it looks like you’re in a ruff situation..
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punk_Rasputin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Jeff Bezos fall asleep?

He didn't have his pajamazon

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nthensome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Jeff Bezos has trouble sleeping?

Unless he has his pajamazon

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.

That's one expensive net

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LupinDaThird777
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?

or with pajamazon?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff please
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/multitudina1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you find DJ Jazzy Jeff in a snowstorm?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/phinzgill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
*Laughing in Jeff Kaplan*
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanIHaveAJoe_YT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're surprised that Jeff Epstein committed suicide

Just imagine how surprised he was.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Jeff has had only one dream ever in his life, to become a train conductor.

Jeff went to his local train station and begged for the job. He got a job, as a janitor. Every day he swept the train car floors. To make his job easier, he added certain style to his sweeping technique. He used a 3 level system for how powerful he wanted to sweep. He had a small sweep for small piles of dust. Medium sweeps for leftover chip bags and plactic bottles. And the Super Mega Large sweeps for when there were spider webs as big as the train.

Jeff was a master sweeper, so he got Promoted!.. To hobo kicking. Nowadays he comes to the train station early in the morning, finds the nearest hobo, and kicks him out. However, Jeff's legs hurt after several strong kicks, so he used his 3 level system in hobo kicking. He had a small kick for tiny, bite sized hobos. Medium kicks for your average sized hobo. And his Super Mega Powerful kick for 300 pound hobos.

Jeff was sooooo good at kicking hobos and he was Promoted!.. to coal shoveling. Jeff arrives 20 minutes before his train departure, loads up with the conductor, and shovels coal. likewise with his legs, Jeff's arms got tired after several large piles of shoveled coal, so he used his 3 level system to rest Jeff's weak arms. Jeff dumps small piles of coal in the incinerator to send the train at a slow pace. He dumps a Medium pile for a somewhat fast pace. But when the train station's 30 miles away and he's scheduled to arrive in 7 minutes, Jeff uses his Big Gargantuan Humongous shoveling strength to send the train at super sonic speed!

After all of Jeff's many years of working for this train station, they finally promote him to Train Conductor! Jeff shows up to work 30 minutes early on his first day, conducts the train for his first time ever, and crashes the train. He injures 30 and kills 13 more. Jeff is sentenced to Death.

The day of Jeff's execution, he's asked for his last meal. Jeff tells the guard that he wants a 13 foot stack of pancakes and a 40 ounce jug of green Kool-Aid. Jeff takes exactly 34 minutes to eat with it all. 26 Mintues later, Jeff is taken to the electric chair.

Jeff sits down in the electric chair, and is strapped in by a nearby guard. After all the safety precautions, they turn on the electric chair.

BZZZZZZ

Nothin happened. The guard is confused and Jeff is confused. The guard trys it again.

BZZZZZZ

Nothing. Jeff doesn't even move a muscle. The guard decides to let Jeff go since he can't kill him. Before Jeff leaves, the guard has one question.

Guard : "Excuse me um, J

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saspa314
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Anybody here named Jeff?

Jeff: Yes

Geoff: Yeos

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I guess you could say that Jeff's Session's over
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdauriemma
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What is Jeff the Killer's favorite key on the keyboard?

The back-slash.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabrielc0208
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Genie: You have one wish. Me: How much money does Jeff Bezos have?

Genie: Not sure exactly.

Me: Give me a ballpark figure.

...Now I’m the size of Yankee stadium.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Manager walks into the sales office and tells a salesmen "Hey Jeff somebody slashed your tires!"
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scuba_steve94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Jeff Dunham is going to host the Oscars this year

It’ll be the Acadummy Awards

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Jeff Bridges is going to star in the remake of Red October?

People thought he would be excited but he's been pretty Subdude.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flammable71
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Jeff Foxworthy does something newsworthy, and 20th Century picks up on it.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mutant_Llama1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
While out caroling one Christmas eve, Jeff & Don were tragically killed in the middle of singing "Deck the Halls". In a strange twist, they were reincarnated as ass-less leather chaps. Jeff looked at his friend and said...

..."Don, we now are gay apparel."

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AbattoirOfDuty
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Jeff Kaplan walks into a wall

he said "Ow"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmanthelucky
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Jeff, an Oxford comma, and a semicolon walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you see Jeff Bezos stepped down as Amazon CEO?

Quit while he was in his Prime.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeezusManForReal
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What does Jeff Bezos always do before he goes to bed ?

Puts his pajamazon.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What does Jeff Bezos do every night before bed?

He puts his pajamazon

πŸ‘︎ 279
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ace1986
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff Bezos can't sleep

until he puts his pajamazon.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BumperBabyAngel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Jeff Bezos sleep?

with his pajamazon

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wtmemma
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff Bezos can't sleep

until he puts his pajamazon

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the last thing Jeff Bezos does before bed?

He puts his Pajamazon

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/growupyall
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, has become the first person ever to have a net worth over $200 billion.

Thatβ€˜s a really expensive net!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/okkani
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar.

Both of them had a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 268
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a good time.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar...

Both of them had a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 306
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/g6mrfixit
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
🚨︎ report

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