What was Jeffrey Dahmer's favourite month?

...Decmember

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brassmonkey44
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Jeffrey Dahmer keep in his shower?

Heads and Shoulders.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer have a blender on his front porch?

So he could greet you with a handshake.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cryptozoophagist
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s Jeffrey Dahmers idea of fast food?

Usain Bolt

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FarmerLarBear
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
We need help naming some murderous cats.

We recently discovered mice in our pantry. Everyone’s advice? Get a cat. Apparently they are stone cold killers.

We made some calls and learned from our vet that they had two cats that need to be rehomed. I agreed to take them sight unseen. I think it’s a boy and girl but I don’t actually know. We pick them up next week.

We want to instill the right spirit into our mercenaries by naming them after famous murderers, but want to lighten the mood with puns.

So far we have come up with Jeffrey Paw-er but we are certain our Reddit friends can do better. We need male and female options. I understand one cat is black and the other is a brown mix.

We need help coming up with names, anyone up for the challenge??

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sveil96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a knock-knock joke, but you have to start it...

Knock-knock.

>!Who's there?!<

Edit: my son told me this. I was confused at why I had to start it and then cracked up when he said β€œwho’s there?”

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?

Vlad the impala.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prophylaxitive
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
CDC: β€œNo handshakes”

Jeffrey Dahmer: shuts off blender β€œAww...”

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Beings from another planet abducted me and tried to convert me to Anglicanism.

I guess they were Episcopaliens.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Our cat is 15 years old, so he's got a lot of health issues.

Me: "Can you take a look at Jeffrey's eye? I think he has cataracts."

Dad: "Of course he does. Would you expect him to have dogaracts?"

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2015
🚨︎ report
The Fresh Prince had a great dad joke...

Will: Make me a sandwich

Jeffrey puts a slice of bread on Will's head

Jeffrey: There, you're a sandwich.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clownonanerd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2014
🚨︎ report
The Story of Jefferson Handy

There once was a golfer named Jefferson Handy. He was a decent golfer, even better considering that he was unable to stand for more than a few minutes without intense pain. Due to his affliction, Jeffrey was always spotted a few strokes on the course. Anyway, Jeffrey was always known for a smile on his face and his cabby hat he wore for good luck. One day, while on the 7th green, a lady appeared from one of the water traps and told him she would grant him any wish, but at a price. He said sure, and asked to be able to stand again. She granted him his wish, but for payment, she took his hat. And that's the story of the lost Handy Cap.

> I want to apologize to everyone today. These terrible jokes have been coming to me all morning and I can't turn it off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2016
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.