Why can't Mick Jagger become a bryologist?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no moss

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Did you hear that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards had a huge falling out because Mick wouldn't stop speaking in broken Spanish?

When asked about it in an interview, Mick confirmed that "The Rolling Stones gather no mas"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_robototoro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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What did Mick Jagger say when he found Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver?

'Hey, hey, Hugh, Hugh, get off of McCloud"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says "Hey you, get off of my cloud" but the Scotsman says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BudgetBinLaden
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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A Frog Walks into a Bank

A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
"KermitΒ Jagger. My father is Mick Jagger. It will be fine to authorize the loan, I know your manager."
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
"Sure, how about this," said Kermit as he produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
Patty walks into the manager's office and proceeds to tell her, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $50,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." Patty holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josephlied
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Most definitely stolen and a repost but sharing anyway. imgur.com/28438Sk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Phoenix95
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
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So a frog walks into a bank

So a frog walks into a bank, and up to one of the tellers, a young woman by the name of Patricia Wakk. He says to her, he says, β€œMiss Wakk, my name is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and I’d like to take out a loan. I make porcelain elephants,” he says, pulling one out from his pocket, β€œand I’d like to open a store down on Main Street selling them. I just need a few thousand dollars to buy the shop. Can you help me out?”

Now, Patricia doesn’t normally deal in small business loans, so she’s unsure on the proper protocol involved, so she calls over her manager and explains the situation to him, explaining Kermit’s family ties and showing him the elephant, to which her manager replies,

β€œIt’s a knick-nack, Patty Wakk, give the frog a loan! His old man’s a rolling stone.”

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Old but gold

http://i.imgur.com/LzWFi9d.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platinum95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2015
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So kermit the frog walks into a bank...

He walks up to the teller. Her nametag says "Patricia Wak". He says, "Hey there, Patty, I'd like a loan." She replies, "Okay, for how much?"

"Ten dollars."

"I'm sorry, but I can't authorize that."

"Really? Well, what if I give you this?"

He hands her a clam with a top hat and googly eyes.

"Um... What is this?"

"Alright, alright. What if I told you my dad was Mick Jagger?"

"I can't give you a 10 dollar loan, it's simply against policy."

"Alright, I'll tell you what. Go talk to your manager, and bring the clam with you. He'll let you give me a loan."

Patricia walks into the back office and tells the manager the story. He immediately says "Alright, give him the loan."

"I'm sorry, but why this time?"

"Well (picking up the clam), it's mainly because of this, and also because of his dad."

"What is it exactly?"

"It's a knick knack, Patty Wak, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

My dad's favourite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hylandw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2013
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Awful form dad...

My Dad has thrown me some pretty good/bad dad jokes in his time... but yesterday he sat me down on the couch and started telling me about a frog who couldn't get a loan from the bank. He looked really concerned and it went something like this...

"... so this frog really just wants a loan, and decides to try one last time. He walks up to the teller, a Mrs Patricia Wak. P.W: Hello sir what can I do for you? F: I'm just after a $30,000 loan. Can you help P.W: Wow, that's a really large loan. What collateral do you have? F: Just this little toy elephant (pulls out from pocket) P.W: I'm afraid that's not going to secure the loan, sir. Do you have anything else? F: No P.W: Well them I'm afraid we can't help you

And the frog starts to well up and cry, he starts howling inconsolably and is an absolute mess F: You don't understand! I need this loan! Please, my name is Froggy Jagger. I come from a long line of Jaggers, my father Mick is good for the money now please help me! P.W: I'm sorry but a little toy elephant is never going to secure you... F: I want to see a manager!!

So Patricia Wak goes and gets her manager, and the frog tells the man about his need for a $30,000 loan. The manager agrees and pulls Patricia aside to explain why...

P.W: I don't understand this guy, what's the deal with the little elephant? M: It's a knick-knack, Patty Wak! Give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!

Dad then proceeded to slap his knee and laugh wildly while I stood up and walked away.

(I think this joke makes a lot more sense if you're an Australian...)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siqsadworld
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
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What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mick Jagger says, "Hey you get off of my cloud" and the Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud get off of my ewe."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/syncopatedsouls
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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A frog walked into a bank...

... and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone".

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mellon_coliee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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A frog goes into a bank

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saveitforthedisco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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A frog goes to get a loan...

The frog is greeted by the teller whose name is Patty Whack. The frog asks Patty for a loan, patty tells the frog to get the loan she will need a reference and a form of collateral. The frog says β€œwell my father is Mick Jagger and I have a small porcelain elephant that I can give you. Patty says β€œI’ll need to speak with my manager” and leaves to the back. When Patty returns the frog asks β€œwhat did the manager say?” and she tells the frog the manager said β€œIt’s a Knick-knack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man is a Rolling Stone!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/my-little-puppet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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So a frog walks into a bank

He walks up to Patricia Wack, the teller and says the following " My names Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger I know the manager here and I would like a $10,000 loan for a vacation". The teller replies "That's all well and good but we are going to need some collateral" "Got it right here" says the frog and pulls out a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about 1 inch in height perfectly formed. Confused by all of this the teller goes to the back of bank to the manager and says "there is a frog out there claiming to know you, says he is the son of Mick Jagger and wants a $10,000 loan and for collateral he gave us this." And shows him the elephant. The manager replies "It's a nick nack patty wack, give the frog a loan his old man is a rolling stone."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dikchops7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

.

.

.

The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goboatmen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2013
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