Cos they keep saying "check, mate"
...I have to leave Home Depot.
I had a cigarette instead
Lukewarm
There needs to be a balance.
A homie-hoe-stasis, if you will.
When I first started it, the Czech engine light came on!
she immediately responded, "50 cent"
it was rewarding because i could visibly see her internal groan at dumb dad joke, but then also self-horror that she was so quick to get the joke... win-win-win!!
He's in a cent
Luke warm.
Gouda question.
What do you call a Russian with 3 testicles?
Whoodya nickaknackeroff
Its out of this world!
How it works is above me!
Someone tried to explain it to me but it flew right above my head!
Re:LAX
Said by a British chemist: "I'll kick your arsenic!"
Said by an American chemist: "I'll kick your astatine!"
A vacuum cleaner
The racers ran anyways but unfortunately no one crossed the finnish line
"No it's not, it's MUNday!" The apprentice has now become the master.
Runs until Friday
"Dowism."
The mafia can turn a profit!
We could never quite get a gig.
Edit: I was aware that it's 1024 Meg to a gig, but "a band called 1023 megabytes" doesn't have the same ring to it. Also doesn't getting the IT wrong make it more dad like?
Space heaters
Tying the astroknot.
So now I tell people I have an unpaid intern-ship.
The shop assistant said, "Motherboard?"
I said, "Yeah, she can't do online shopping anymore"
- Like all cherished things in this covid-crazy world, the O.Henry Museum’s famous free, family friendly celebration of the wit-in-word will take place virtually in cyberspace this year. With an awesome live cast of lively wits and tortured tongues, the online audience will be treated to all the linguistic twists, dramatic turns, and surprise endings they’ve groan to love. Expect to witness wacky word butchers and voracious verbivores from around the globe, all worming their way into your ears. Tongues of tradition, tension and camaraderie make this the premier event for the world's competitive wordplay community
- Brought to you this year by the City of Austin, Brush Square Museums Foundation, and co- sponsored by Austin's very own Fantastic Magic Camp, as well as the internationally renowned podcast, Pun Intensive, The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition will commence Saturday, November 21, 2020
- Preliminary live rounds begin Saturday, November 21, 2020, at 11:00am CST, lasting about 2 hours. Later that evening, live competition resumes at 7:00pm CST with head-to-head prime time heats. - See Pun-Off.com for schedule details, links, and more.
[Austin, TX, November 1, 2020] - Although traditionally held outdoors on a single day in the spring, the first portion 2020 the O. Henry Museum Pun-Off competition known as Punniest of Show was conducted via video in October. Now on Saturday, November 21, 2020, PARD will bring you their most popular second segment, O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships Punslingers Competition: Online Edition
This free, fun, and family friendly event will take place online this year, but with special twists, turns, and surprise modifications to make it the perfect 2020 event for the world's competitive wordplay community.
The O. Henry Museum Pun-Off World Championships have been an Austin institution for 43 years. As usual, the contest will feature a cavalcade of word-class wordsmiths from across the globe, all worming their way into your art. Join and enjoy us as they compete to spontaneously spit out the most absurd words you’ve ever heard.
The event will be live streamed at PunIntensive.com.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
Friend: what's upstairs Me: stairs don't talk
That's good because it's where blood is meant to be.
Should've waited to digest before the exercise, the cramps were a bitch.
Lukewarm.
I guess it was LAX.
