What do you call a surgeon for a rebel army?

An insurgent.

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👤︎ u/siddis76
📅︎ Apr 19 2016
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I Dadjoked my parents so badly, my dad didn't get it at first.

Background: last night we had a random insurgence of ants invade our bathroom. We successfully killed most of them with spray and bait, but it left tiny ant carcasses all over the bathroom floor. This morning my mom cleaned the entire bathroom leaving it spotless.

Mom and dad are now relaxing in the living room after mom has cleaned the bathroom:

Me: mom, I really appreciate your cleaning the bathroom, but now our whole family is going to get sick.

Mom: why?

Me: you got rid of all our anti-bodies

Mom groans, I give her a huge grin. My dad didn't get it at first, but after my mom explained it he groaned and said "I'm proud I raised a daughter with such a great sense of humor"

👍︎ 23
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👤︎ u/EliseMcg
📅︎ May 04 2014
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My fiancee set up my dad perfectly

My youngest sister's birthday party was the other day, and a couple of her gifts were two books from the "Divergent" series. So my Grandmother asked her "What are all the books called?"

Sister: "Well, there's Divergent, Insurgent, Allegiant..."

Fiancee: "Detergent..."

Dad: "No, that's the clean version."

👍︎ 24
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📅︎ Mar 24 2014
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