I know a woman who has committed herself to cleaning other peoples’ homes indefinitely, and makes a hell of a lot of money for it.

She’s maid for life.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you recognize a nerdy mermaid?

She wears an algaebra.

πŸ‘︎ 183
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeviantClam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2016
🚨︎ report
A vegan said to me: people who eat meat are disgusting

I replied: people who sell fruit and veg are grocer

(Borrowed indefinitely without permission from @pakalupapito)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RacismIsForBlacks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad, what's the time?

Dad: The time is the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/confirmedpawnshop
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I love my dad for all of his "wit."

Baba: What day is it?

Me: I think it's Tuesday...

Baba: (giggles to himself for a good 15 seconds) No, Hanaa.... I think it's THREES-DAY!!!

(repeats joke indefinitely)

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paranoidhandroid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.