I certainly soap you like it.
I think joule really likes this joke
I have a hunch you will like this joke
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
I used to like telling Dad jokes.
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
When I was younger, I felt like a man, trapped inside a woman body.
I like people like I like my tea....
I don't like my friends either.
I have good news and bad news. Which would you like first?
If good;
The good news is there is no bad news.
If bad;
The bad news is there is no good news.
How often do I like jokes about chemistry?
I like the name Frodo,
It really has a ring to it.
My buddy keeps asking me to blow cool air on him when he gets hot, and I don’t like it.
I like to hold hands at the movies.
Which always seems to startle strangers.
I like going out during a full moon...
...but my lycanthropy gives me pause.
My wife is angry. Last night for my anniversary, I left the kids, snuck out with my ex-girlfriend, and we hooked up in the back seat like we used to.
She hates when I call her that.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did
Not screaming and yelling like everyone else in the car was when he drove over the cliff
So, earlier I was replanting my succulents and I offhandedly mentioned to my fiancé I'd like to do gardening shit with my sis...
He replied, "She'd be super helpful since she's a HOE."
#mypunssucc #punnyshit
My wife bought store brand ketchup despite the fact that I like Heinz. I threw it out, so now I guess she knows....
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
At first, I didn't like having a beard.
i'm beginning to feel like a pun god
I like to listen to music as I fall asleep, so I tuned the radio to the Metal station
I've always been a heavy sleeper.
When I first met my wife,she wanted our 1st sexual experience to be like a fairytale.
So, I invited 7 dwarves to join in.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
The three things I like are:
Eating my family and not using commas.
When I open the fridge after a long day at work only to find water, milk and juice, I start to feel like David Gilmour.
"How I wish... How I wish you were beer."
I am a butcher and my wife doesn’t like me introducing her to people
Especially when I say Meet Patty
I don't like French pancakes
To be honest I don’t like cocaine
I just like the smell of it
I definitely feel like we didn't prepare enough for all of last year's terrible events.
But then, hindsight is always 2020.
A fat man came into the store trying to decide if he wanted a hammock. He laid down in the display model and I tried pushing him so he could feel what it was like to gently rock. I wasn't strong enough. He left without purchasing it.
I feel like this meme fits in here.
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
I can't help it, I like Google's "I'm feeling lucky" button
It's basically love at first site.
It's days like these I remember what my Grandad said before he kicked the bucket...
He said "Hey, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
I went to my best friend's wedding today. He is an awesome fisher. I like him a lot and always come with the finest catch.
But something is very fishy with his new betrouthed.
I don't like these kinds of jokes
I'd like to personally thank the inventor of the mini skirt...
My balls have never felt so free.
I Was Told You Might Like My Valentines Day Cards ;)
I need like 100 puns!
At my high school there's an annoying dude who hates puns so if you have any really bad ones I need you to comment...
I'm gonna send him to PUNintentiary!
I won't stop till he PUNches me!
I like telling Dad jokes.
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
I like telling dad jokes.
I like telling dad jokes
Sometimes he even laughs at them
When I was little I was like this:
I like to tell dad jokes...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
