I have a plan for a new side-hustle. I’m gonna do personal training for members of the band that recorded β€˜Lola’ and β€˜You Really Got Me’. It’s a good plan...

I just have to work out a few Kinks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?

Hustle, Sleuth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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How did women in the 16th century stay fit?

They worked their core-set

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swaghettigod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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Beyonce was just telling me the best way to source product for my new pillow-making side-hustle.

I was very surprised when she suggested punching a duck in the face. I replied - I didn't know you could get down like that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingKongDuck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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so anyway im switching my major to marketing...

just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacksonCM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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What is the Chiropractor’s side hustle?

Crack dealer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexszaek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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[hustle]

At the end of a long season; two fishing companies got caught up over the last catching nets to supply ingredients to Hog Island's famous chowder... the legendary bustle was later known as the "mussel vessel hustle tussle"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarah_Connor
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2017
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I might regret introducing my father to Reddit

A few days ago, my dad (who is a recent Reddit convert) and I were watching "American Hustle" and in the middle of the movie, Christian Bale's character opens up a safe at one of his dry cleaning businesses.

Dad taps me on the shoulder, leans over and says:

"OP Delivered"

He immediately began cackling as I groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msassafras
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
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Didn't realize it was a Dad Joke until too late...

A little context: I'm driving around in Yellowstone with my dad and my girlfriend. My dad went on a three week cross country ski winter camping trip when he was 17 in Yellowstone. We are currently talking about whether or not it is important to carry bear spray.

Dad: "Did I ever tell you about that time I woke up a bear on my ski trip?"

Me: "What?! No, that's crazy, what happened?"

Dad: "Well, we were skiing through an open field when we hear a rumbling from about 100 yards behind us, and we turn back and there's a huge bear, and he looks at us and starts lumbering in our direction. At the time, I was with this girl who was not a very good skier, but we were pretty sure black bears can't climb trees, so we start hustling towards the woods. So I'm pulling her along and this bear is gaining on us but we get to the closest climbable tree and the bear is still 50 yards back. Like I said, she wasn't a very good skier, or really very coordinated in general, so I help boost her up into the tree and she's up there and she's pretty safe, but this took a minute and a lot of my energy. So now the bear is only about 15 feet away, and I've still got my skis on, and, you know, back then we didn't have fancy cross country skis, we had these big metal cable bindings and leather lace up boots, so I definitely don't have time to get them off. And I'm so exhausted from dragging this girl across the field and then shoving her up into the tree that I've got almost nothing left, and the first branch is about 8 feet off the ground. But this bear is coming at me and there's nothing I can do but jump for it, so I leap and pull myself up and over the branch using everything I've got right as the bear lunges for me and bites into my ski boot. So here I am, doubled over this branch with a bear's jaws on my foot, my skis on, and not one ounce of energy left, and he's really sinking his teeth in and he's really just pulling my leg just like I'm pulling yours!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pipore22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
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What do you call an ambitious vegetable?

Hustle sprouts

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Is Michael Giacchino the greatest Star Trek Dad Joker in the world?

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

  1. Star Trek

  2. Nailin' The Kelvin

  3. Labor Of Love

  4. Hella Bar Talk

  5. Enterprising Young Men

  6. Nero Sighted

  7. Nice To Meld You

  8. Run And Shoot Offense

  9. Does It Still McFly?

  10. Nero Death Experience

  11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

  12. Back From Black

  13. That New Car Smell

  14. To Boldly Go

  15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

  2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

  3. Sub Prime Directive

  4. London Calling

  5. Meld-Merized

  6. The Kronos Wartet

  7. Brigadoom

  8. Ship To Ship

  9. Earthbound And Down

  10. Warp Core Values

  11. Buying The Space Farm

  12. The San Fran Hustle

  13. Kirk Enterprises

  14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

  1. Logo and Prosper

  2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

  3. Night on the Yorktown

  4. The Dance of the Nebula

  5. A Swarm Reception

  6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

  7. Jaylah Damage

  8. In Artifacts as in Life

  9. Franklin, My Dear

  10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

  11. MotorCycles of Relief

  12. Mocking Jaylah

  13. Crash Decisions

  14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

  15. Shutdown Happens

  16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

  17. Par-tay for the Course

  18. Star Trek Main Theme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegeneral400
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Calendar Joke

I do logistics for a small distributing company. A container of calendars came in and the warehouse guys were hustling to get it empty. I walked out of my office and said "Hey guys slow down. Y'all have a lot of time on your hands."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2014
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"I'm an under cover agent...

for a blanket company."

My dad on his side hustle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fembot__
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2016
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Logged onto Twitter this morning to see pro wrestling legend Paul Heyman dropping a solid dad joke.

https://twitter.com/HeymanHustle/status/477471573062844417

"Hey, how do you feel?"

"...With my hands"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smark_Henry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
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