How did the ice cream man sell all of his melting product on a hot summer day?

He had a liquidation sale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2022
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You know, a hot summer day is like a right angle.

Both are 90 degrees.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Any_Dress_4382
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2022
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My friend just told me the last episodes of Big Bang Theory are "as terrible as a hot summer day"

I'm guessing he doesn't like that season.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2021
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What did the pig say on a hot summer day?

I’m bacon out here!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/westsoutheast
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
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My friend and I were having a conversation on a hot summer day but when the A/C broke…

our conversation turned into a heated conversation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tf1-f1
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
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One time I lowered my standards when it came to a girl but I told my friends afterwards the girl was hot like a summer day in the Sahara. You could say I metaphor.

Get it? Met-a-four?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raging64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hot dog. She walks to the nearest hot dog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst...

He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.

As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.

A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.

When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,

β€œExcuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”

β€œIt’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. β€œI’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”

Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.

β€œYa see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Don't you love it when it's a hot summer day and you take a drink of water? Your mouth feels like it's finally reach salvation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Masonlevyofficial
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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what does a dad eat on a hot summer day?

Popsicles.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Mike Tyson, Alan Jackson, and Jimmy Buffett are releasing a new product just in time for these hot summer days we are having!

Have you ever been drinking an ice cold beer only to notice the frigid feeling in your thumb?! Look no further and see these new sweaters we have designed to combat the issue! Introducing…..

5 O’clock thumb wear!

I’ll see myself out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/V6A6P6E
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2022
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Why do dads wear baseball caps on hot summer days?

To stay cool.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keberro
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2022
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My husband still loves me...even after one of my worst ones...

We were driving to a friend's house for "game day". We live in Phoenix...we have flora that doesn't like living..because..it is Phoenix.As we were driving, we passed a huge palm tree on its last root (leg) of life in the median of the road. It is literally being held up by a few 2x4's. I look at my husband with the saddest look I can muster before I say "Babe, did you see that poor palm?". Husband says, "Oh yea, that big, dead-looking ones with the boards?". I respond, "Yea, sweetie, we should say a prayer. The poor thing is on LEAF support". He was not amused...I, however, giggle every other Saturday when we pass the tree to game day. Also, please don't worry about the tree. Now that Phoenix has made it through a hot summer, I bet after winter it will just spring back to life...assuming it doesn't fall. Lastly, sorry I'm not a dad or no actually dad said it...but I was channeling that inner dad when it happened! If I need to move this post it is okay!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sh2nn0n
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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God dammit dad, we're already late.

On bridges in Michigan, there are signs warning motorists of ice that forms over them during the winter months.

When I was a kid, I was riding in the car with my dad one hot summer day. my dad says, "boy is it hot..." as he pulls over on the bridge, unhooks his wristwatch and sticks it out the window. I ask, "what are you doing, dad?" And he says, "didn't you see the sign? 'Watch for ice on bridge'!"

He laughed for a good five minutes as he drove off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jay-El
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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Cringe-worthy exchange between my father and I the other day

Let me preface this with some info. Firstly, me and my father are idiots; our jokes can become insensitive if we aren't careful, as we have few filters. My parents live in a tiny town amidst a thousand other tiny towns. One of the tiny towns right beside us (let's call it Townsburg) has a lot of forest and extra land, so towards the end of the summer when it's still hot but the land is starting to dry out, it's rather susceptible to fires. The other day, Townsburg caught fire in a few different places. The town my parents live in (we'll call it Cityville) is the sausage capital of our state. Yep. Sausage capital. Like brisket and such. Our proudest export is meat. Meat is what we are most proud of. I don't live there anymore, thank the universe.

So I went by my parents house on the way home from work one day to check on my retired, sick father, and watch the news with him (something I try to do whenever I can). And what happened next, well, it all just happened so fast...

Me: "Whoa, Townsburg is on fire again. I guess Cityville isn't the barbecue capital anymore, AYO." Dad: "Nope. Looks like they're about to be the barbecued capital." Me: "...we may need to stop hanging out so much."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/queerleaderr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2015
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What did the pig say on a hot summer's day?

I'm bacon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dgal6560
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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