The Who once played a show at the mansion of the founder of Tim Hortons

It was the last time Horton heard a Who.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LanceStratus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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What is an agent who works for Starbucks & Tim Hortons called?

A double-double agent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Horton" "Horton Who?"

"I heard that."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dontinquire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Tim Hortons, you so punny
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamer6663
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2014
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Tim Hortons employees are probably tired of this dad joke

> Dad: Can I get a large green tea, nothing in it? > > Cashier: You want one large green tea, black? > > Dad: No, I want it green! > > Cashier: [...]

Of course then he starts laughing his ass off, while she forces a smile and quickly tries to get away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MattJokir
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2014
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Come on, step right up, and Guess Who Tim Horton Hears! Tim Horton's Hears A Who? Oh, I'm sorry, but you're wrong.

Tim Horton's should play music by The Who and The Guess Who. Whenever someone is asked "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", especially to younger people that don't listen to classic rock, they might not know. You can tell them, in a real coy (not Real McCoy) manner, that it is what Horton hears in the Dr. Seuss books. If they guess correctly, they could win a prize. If not, tell them either to really "Guess Who is playing this music" or "Who is playing this music", and see if they catch on.

*The idea for this is from listening to all the times my dad would make us Guess Who was playing the song in the car or he would say Who is playing this song right now and we would guess incorrectly until we caught on. It's a long running dad joke, so you better catch it before it takes off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackPurity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2015
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My girlfriend hates me

So we walked inside of a Tim Hortons...

GF: What do you want to order?

Me: No idea, what sounds good?

GF: I want a raisin bagel. Do you like raisin bagels?

Me: I don't know, I've never raised a bagel before.

She wasn't amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WorkHardRunHarder
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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Son: Dad, what’s your favorite rock group? Dad: If I’m being subjective, I’d say The Who.

But if I’m being objective, I’d say The Whom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
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Why is Cyclops in charge of the X-Men?

Because Prof. X made him a supervisor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iZacAsimov
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2017
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What do you call a Canadian coffee shop with the lights off?

Dim Horton!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WonderGamer6
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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Got a customer today at work

I work at Tim Horton's (Coffee shop in the Northeast US/Canada).

Lady: Can I have a medium with nothing in it?

Me: Okay, but do want the coffee too?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/musicguy2341
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
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MORE THAN A FEEEEELING!

Driving to Tim Hortons, and we're sitting in the drive thru. .

Of course, Boston us on the radio, playing more than a feeling.

What the he'll does my old man do?

He pulls down his bottom lip, to show me his teeth, and yells look!!! Look!!! I have more than a feeling!!! (filling) I got one capped and I just got on pulled!!! (of course, to the tune of the song)

Wow dad, just wow. .

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2016
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