And that's how the fight started your honour
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Defend my honour
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roritios
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
In honour of Star Wars day I was going to have Wooki steak tonight..

But I've heard it's a little chewy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A Funeral

A woman is at her husband’s funeral, and asks some friends of her late husband up to the podium to say some things honouring him.

Man 1 walks up to the podium, and says one word: β€œPlethora.” He steps down and walks by the widow, who says: β€œThanks; that means a lot.”

Man 2 now goes up to the podium, and says β€œBargain.” Then, as he leaves the podium and walks by the widow, she whispers to him: β€œThanks; that means a great deal.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AntiNumbskull
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him

So I came, I sawed, I coloured

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Makes a joke about sharks in honour of shark week
πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/queenettt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
These guys have a subreddit honouring them
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Klaus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
When I become a lawyer, I want to defend a penguin....

Just so I can say, "Your honour!! My client clearly isn't a flight risk."

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
In honour of mother's day, I'm going to tell yo mama jokes

Because she's a sweet lady with a great sense of humour.

πŸ‘︎ 252
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/extraflux
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife and I just found out she's pregnant with our first child.

To celebrate, we invited all the family and friends we could to my parents' house and then made the big announcement. Everyone was ecstatic and my father in particular was driven to tears. At a certain point during the night he pulled me aside and led me into his study, which I had never really been inside until this point. He opened a safe and produced cigars a bottle of whiskey and a large, beautifully bound book.

"I could never have asked for a better son," my father said, lighting the cigars and pouring the whiskey. "I hope you think I was a good enough father to deserve you."

"Of course, Dad," I said, "You were all I could've asked for and I wish my son admires me even half as much as I admire you."

"Now I've shared with you nearly everything I know," he said, "But not this one thing. This is the Big Book of Dad Jokes. There are many like it but this one is special. My father gave it to me when your mother and I first found out she was pregnant with you, and I studied it and studied it, learning all the dad jokes I could and mastering book's secrets. I hope it serves you as well as it served me in being a father... No... I know it will serve you well. I love you, my son."

"Dad... I don't know what to say... I'm honoured..."

"Hi Honoured, I'm Dad."

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m_bowker-brown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you honour a dead comedian?

Post-humourously.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Harkonan
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
So many of em
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rym2031g
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
In honour of Canada playing Russia in World Junior hockey this evening, I predict we will be putin on the gold medal.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SugarBear4Real
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2015
🚨︎ report
The chickpea was honoured for its great taste... post-houmously
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mjiwa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't any man need more than one rooster?

A cock a dude'll do.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
In honour of National Middle Child Day.

-My sister "Hey, today is National Middle Child Day!"
-My dad "That can't be right. It should be on a Wednesday."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebillgonadz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a takeaway with dignity?

An honour kebab.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maaaaaardy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Ageing ...

A time-honoured tradition.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad Joke Inception

While celebrating the birth of his newborn, a son is drinking with his father. The father turns to the son with a gift. "Here son, it is your time to have this" says the father as he hands across a book title '1001 Dad Jokes' "Wow, I don't know what to say" states the son "I am honoured" "Hi honoured, I'm dad"

πŸ‘︎ 582
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snorklenator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2016
🚨︎ report
A British and American walk into a bar

The British man says "You need to do us all a favour and honour people of colour". The American says "No U".

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warmachine237
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A proud new dad sits to have a drink with his father.

"Well son, now that you've got a kid of your own, I think it's time to give you this"

"Dad, you don't mean-"

"Yes son, I do" Dad pulls out a copy of 1001 dad jokes.

"Dad .. I'm honoured ..", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"Hi honored", replies his father. "I'm dad".

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorTom1998
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a judge with no fingers?

Justice Thumbs

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
🚨︎ report
A rite of passage.

Meet James and Sasha, both 23, in a serious relationship and madly in love. James is worried about children, as he knows there is an honourable history of dad jokes in his family, and he is not sure he can live up to these great expectations. One night, whilst doing the deed, the condom breaks. They are both scared but after a couple weeks and no sign of pregnancy, they go back to their normal lives, and James goes back to worrying about parenthood. After returning home from work one night, James finds a tearful Sasha on the front doorstep. He sits next to her to ask what's wrong. 'Honey...' She replies. 'I'm pregnant.' James wipes a tear from his eye, and smiles proudly. 'Hello pregnant. I'm dad.'

πŸ‘︎ 325
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MyUserSucks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
🚨︎ report
How many people are dead in a cemetery?

All of them.

this is actually a grand-dad joke, but he recently passed away, so in his honour I posted his favorite joke!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Classics are classics for a reason....

Talking to a co-worker and she asks what time it is

"Time to go to the dentist"

"What? Why's that?"

"Well, its two-thirty, isn't it"

The shrivelling look of disapproval I got was a true honour.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/extraflux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
🚨︎ report
After my first child was born I went to have a drink with my father...

He said to me "Well son, now that you have a kid of your own, I think it's time to give you this".

"Dad, you don't mean the... ".

"Yes son", he interrupted, as he handed me the first five editions of '1001 Dad Jokes'.

With the tears welling in my eyes, and a lump in my throat, I said "Dad, I'm honoured!".

"Well hello Honoured, I'm Dad".

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EdenC996
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2015
🚨︎ report
A Chinese New Year Salutation: dadjoke edition.

In honour of the year of the horse:

Kung 'neigh' fat choi!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fubarite
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2014
🚨︎ report
"Son, now that you are a father, you should read this book"

"What is it dad?"
"1001 greatest dad jokes"
"wow dad, i'm honoured"
"hi honoured, i'm dad.."

πŸ‘︎ 931
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
🚨︎ report
A proud moment

A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father

"Well son, now that you've got a kid of your own, I think it's time to give you this"

"Dad, you don't mean-"

"Yes son, I do" Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition

"Dad... I'm honoured...", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I'm dad".

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sl101m
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father...

A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father

"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"

"Dad, you don’t mean-"

"Yes son, I do" Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition "Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.

"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeyt493
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.