Hepatic Coma Puns

Little back story.. Essentially, family friend, 29.. Heavy Drinker.. Abdomen swelled up, skin turned yellow. Took to hospital.. They determined liver failure and alcoholic hepatitis.. She started to recover Thanksgiving eve, then threw up a blood clot, started throwing up black blood.. Lost 3/4's of her blood.. 5am Thanksgiving morning they close 12 holes in her esophagus, blood transfusion.. she's still bleeding a bit, urinating and defecating blood.. Had her on sedatives for 48 hours, took her off of them.. Took her off pain meds to see if she would react.. She's on life support, machine is breathing for her.. Blood is very thin, put her on meds to thicken, and machine is controlling her blood pressure.. Pressure was 187/46 now 103/46.. Hasn't woken up for 36 hours..Yellow tears..

My father was diagnosed with stage 4 cirrhosis in August. We lost him in November at the age of 85. He was a regular drinker, but not a heavy drinker. Frankly, beers with his friends in his 80s was his delight. Reaching 85 isn't a failure.

His medical treatment was poor, and little of his doing. He had ascites, and was getting drained, but in October they told him his kidneys were showing signs of failure. They scheduled him for a kidney consult in JANUARY. Much of his treatment was like that. For instance, he was on no medications when he died, despite all the toxins building up in his blood.

What I'm writing about is the following. In November he had a rough night, needing my mom to get him quickly to the bathroom. Two trips took an hour apiece. Later, when she went to wake him, he was groggy and hardly responsive. It is at this point I wonder how aware he was. Based on internet reading, it seems like he was in an HE coma. Family all raced to his bedside. He never really regained consciousness, though as his kids (including me) visited his bedside, he'd appear to open his eyes, though they were completely rolled back. He'd moan something. His arms would seem to reach out, though with no hand control - hands were entirely infirm. I'm curious to know what state of consciousness he was in. Did he know we were there? Did he have any idea?

Sometimes there is a rebound just before death. I think my dad was so good at covering for his pain that we didn't know how bad he was, and my brother's last visit with him, during which he reported my dad seemed well and ate well, was his rebound. After his collapse and seeming coma, there was no rebound. We mostly stayed bedside for three days before he passed. I'm curious for educated opinions about his awareness.

a pretty good friend of mine finally fell in love with a girl after dating around a lot on tinder and other dating apps. He felt like he finally found the one that he wanted to be with exclusively.

He's 28 or 29 I think. She's about 26 or 27. They were both madly in love it appeared. He and I would sit in my driveway smoking weed and I would have to listen to him gush about how amazing and perfect she was, and he would occasionally read me her texts proving that she was just as head over heels for him.

Despite not having a relationship of my own for over a decade, I was genuinely happy for them.

Then over the next few weeks or months or so, he would gradually, more and more frequently confide in me about her exhibiting some pretty extreme CA behavior. For the record, she wasn't hiding it or anything and was very open and honest with him about her need for constant booze consumption in order to function.

He would confide in me because he knew that I myself am a CA, and he was just genuinely concerned for her and wanted advice from me about various aspects of being a CA, including questions about consumption levels, daily maintenance, treatment, general comparisons of my experience to hers, and sometimes just telling me about her situation simply so that he could blow off steam.

I was happy to help, I didn't know her personally, so I was happy to be a helpful resource for my friend and honestly it was a little bit of a nice reminder to me that I'm not the only CA person out there.

In fact, I was almost jealous that he had found her, she did indeed sound amazing. She liked a lot of the same music as I do (which my friend doesn't) and she's was a kind, attractive, fun loving, elementary school teacher. What's not to like? He seemed to have scored a perfect babe.

Unfortunately she also cannot function at all without massive amounts of vodka. I guess she buys a handle, like one of those 1.5 Liter bottles and goes through it pretty quickly, maybe daily although I'm not sure precisely. She drinks the second she wakes up in the morning and drinks throughout the day and into the evening.

So Starting, I think sometime over fall of 2020 I think, she started having some serious health problems. First she had to quit her teaching job because her health was deteriorating so badly that she had to spend long periods in the hospital.

Then she was diagnosed with alcoholic hepatitis, and jaundice, and ascities. She was in and out of the

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

First up, the pictures: https://i.imgur.com/Rq1fHnK.jpg

Believe it or not that shows my progress in just 8 months of not drinking after a rather lengthy hospital stay. Lets just say I have been working my ass off since I had the literal scare of my life. I was admitted to the ER with stomach pain which turned out to be a bacterial c diff infection. Then my organs started failing quickly. I turned as yellow as a highlighter from liver failure and my kidneys failed along side it. Basically I was a worst case possible scenario. As my organs failed, the toxic ammonia levels in my blood began to rise and I developed the very dreaded hepatic encephalopathy (HE). As the HE progressed I started losing touch with reality. I didn't go into a coma, but I went into a severely altered mental state that was punctuated by a lot of missing time. As in, days and weeks are just gone; although supposedly I was somewhat responsive at times. What I do remember will stick with me forever. Imagine being trapped in a REALLY strange nightmare that lasts forever and you might be getting there.

So, after various treatments and dialysis didn't produce results, the doctors basically informed my family I was going to die. They stopped all treatment and I was placed in hospice. I don't remember any of that, except when I started to make a comeback. One day I just woke up - I had no idea I had been uncommunicative for days at that point - and there was a doctor there and she and I started talking. She seemed a bit surprised to be hearing from me. Despite all odds against me, my body just started getting better basically spontaneously. That's the weird thing about the liver, it can heal itself to a degree and mine seemed to do so at the very end. My doctors haven't been able to answer why I'm still here. They don't know; the best answer I've heard is probably genetics.

So that brings me to where I'm at now. I'm now a cirrhosis patient and that's still a really bad thing to have hanging over my head. But the good news is that my liver and kidney numbers are much much better than they were last year. When you have end stage liver disease they have a mathematical formula that gives the doctors some pretty good guesses on your survival probability based on your blood work. It is called a MELD score and it runs from 6 (good) to 40 (bad). Above 40 and it just doesn't matter, you are pretty much f'ed. I was a 38 in the hospital at one point, and now I'm a 12 which brings me out of

Do your worst!

Hi I’m 23 and was a bodybuilder but developed an innumerable amount of hepatic adonemas. I was in a coma for about 2 weeks and had multiple surgeries and lost 60lbs from the rupture. My abdominal wall has been open for a year now due to mesh Being infected. They won’t fix my abdominal wall with out transplanting. How did life change on immuno suppresion? Any athletes who had organ transplants I have a million questions.

Hi, I'm hoping I can include all relevant test results in order to get a doctor's opinion. My bilirubin levels in my blood were 2.3 mg/dL and 1.6 mg/dL after being tested twice, on the 14th and 19th. I am scheduled for an ultrasound of my stomach on February 17th.

History: No allergies or major medical issues or surgeries til now. However, I had a car accident because of drunk driving (I learned my lesson - I no longer drink). This resulted in a traumatic brain injury and a coma which I was in for a month. This was July 27th. I have not touched alcohol since then, and have returned to work and driving since being released from the hospital August 23rd. I also used to abuse drugs as a teenager, and smoked weed and cigarettes up until I was 20. I smoked for 10+ years and still occassionally have a cigarette.

Test results:

This is from a comprehensive metabolic panel on 8/23/21.

ALT (SGPT) 43 IU/L

BUN/Creatinine Ratio 25

Alkaline Phosphatase 83 IU/L

Total Bilirubin 0.4 mg/dL

This is from a CBC on 9/9/21.

White Blood Cells 7.2 x 10*3/uL

RBC 4.89 x 10*6/uL

Hemoglobin 14.3 g/dL

Hematocrit 43.4 %

MCV 88.7 fL

MCH 29.2 pg

MCHC 33.0 g/dL

RDW 15.2 %

Platelets 276 x 10*3/uL

This is from a comprehensive metabolic panel on 1/14/21.

ALT (SGPT) 20 IU/L

BUN/Creatinine Ratio 13

Alkaline Phosphatase 38 IU/L

Total Bilirubin 2.3 mg/dL

This is from a comprehensive metabolic panel on 1/19/21.

Total Protein 8.2 g/dL

ALT (SGPT) 26 IU/L

BUN/Creatinine Ratio16

Alkaline Phosphatase 46 IU/L

Total Bilirubin 1.6 mg/dL

Corrected Calcium 8.7 mg/dL

This is from a Bilirubin, Direct on 1/19/21.

Bilirubin, Direct 0.4 mg/dL

I've included all values a friend of mine who is a doctor asked for, as well as any values from my test results flagged as too high or too low.

I'm very anxious. I want to know what is most likely causing this and what my treatment options are. I've read about possibilities of high bilirubin levels and they range from liver failure to hepatitis to gallstones to Gilbert's Syndrome. I feel fine and I am asymptomatic, these blood tests are just done as normal per my usual checkup. I am worried I'm going to have to see many doctors just to find out whats causing this, and that my treatment could range from surgery to medic

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

They were cooked in Greece.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Little back story.. Essentially, family friend, 29.. Heavy Drinker.. Abdomen swelled up, skin turned yellow. Took to hospital.. They determined liver failure and alcoholic hepatitis.. She started to recover Thanksgiving eve, then threw up a blood clot, started throwing up black blood.. Lost 3/4's of her blood.. 5am Thanksgiving morning they close 12 holes in her esophagus, blood transfusion.. she's still bleeding a bit, urinating and defecating blood.. Had her on sedatives for 48 hours, took her off of them.. Took her off pain meds to see if she would react.. She's on life support, machine is breathing for her.. Blood is very thin, put her on meds to thicken, and machine is controlling her blood pressure.. Pressure was 187/46 now 103/46.. Hasn't woken up for 36 hours..Yellow tears.. I'm wondering if her brain is hemorrhaging.

• Hepatic encephalopathy

edit I am just a friend of a guy who's girlfriend is currently experiencing this.. I've been in and out of the hospital to support him.. I don't think she's going to survive, but I am generally curious as everything I've read is pretty negative online.