Boss canβt see her employeeβs hard work
π︎ 40
π
︎ May 09 2021
Why is it very hard for women to work in the postal service?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 02 2021
Where do astronauts go to unwind after a hard day's work?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
Why did the snail work so hard?
Because he had to support a whole household all by himself.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 15 2021
When you have hard of hearing and the doorbell donβt work
Itβs a hard knock life for him
π︎ 11
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︎ Mar 09 2021
According to a recent study, itβs really hard for women to work for the Postal Service.
Itβs a mail dominated industry.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Show support for his hard work
π︎ 43
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
I asked my eye surgeon if he has had a hard time finding work.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
You have to work hard to reach your goals.
After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
Carpentry is hard work
That's why i get hammered after work
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 06 2020
My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath...
She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...
Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.
π︎ 61
π
︎ Apr 09 2020
Why do bakers work so hard?
Because they have a lot to prove
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 01 2020
Did you hear about the politician who came home late at night after a hard day at work?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
After all the hard work i put in, It's the least you can do
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 27 2019
What demographic is always hard at work?
π︎ 12
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︎ Aug 26 2019
Why did the farmer mistakenly work extra hard to keep barley and wheat away from his prized ox?
The vet had recently diagnosed him with silly yak disease.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
When youβve had a hard day at work and you just wanna take a....
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 24 2019
Sleep is really hard work for me!
I find I have to be laying down to do it!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 23 2019
Making mayonnaise is hard work.
Some would even call it egg-sauce-ting.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
After a long, hard dayβs worth of work I love to wind down by watching low-effort zombie movies and tv shows.
Theyβre all pretty brainless.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 10 2019
Just wanted to remind everyone of all the hard work the significant others of superheroes do. They deal with so much, have to be in their shadow, yet still stand by them...
They really are fucking heroes
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 05 2019
What did the bee-mother say when coming home from a hard day at work and all her family is disregarding the table rules?
Why do you beehive like this?
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 15 2019
Trimming hedges is hard work.
You must take it sheariously.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
"Police work is hard on my back"
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 09 2017
I bought a mattress after a hard day at work
I just needed something to fall back on
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 22 2017
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 13 2017
Would a job at a Viagra factory be considered hard work?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 09 2018
When I have a hard time getting my bazooka to work, I'll have...
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 11 2016
After a hard day's/night's space work,
π︎ 195
π
︎ Apr 18 2014
Did you know you can measure with your legs after a hard day's work?
I asked this question of my gf and she looked at me oddly and asked how.
Well your legs become a ruler after a long shift.
She looks at me, knowing something's coming. "And how's that?"
Well you always complain that they're a king after a long shift. A king is a ruler, so your legs can measure things.
Took her a minute. Got something thrown at me. Good times.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 21 2018
A llama comes home after a hard day at work...
In an effort to cheer him up, his wife says βHoney I have great news! I found a great deal on a vacation for us next week! Weβre going to Peru!β The husband says βPeru?! Thatβs fantastic! Alpaca suitcase!β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 14 2018
My attempted dad joke failed pretty hard on one of the kids I work with today.
My plan:
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngster: Huh? What's snoo?
Me: Nothing much, thanks for asking. What's new with you?? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahha
What really happened
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngter: sensing a trap No, I think most of the snoo is up in the north east lately.
Me: Stunned silence
π︎ 47
π
︎ Jan 28 2015
So some string walks into a bar after a hard day at work
And he says, "bartender I've a had a really hard day at work I need a drink."
And the bartender then says, "wait you're a piece of string, I can't serve you!"
So the string leaves. Then he gets an idea, he ties himself in a knot and unravels his ends. Then he walks back in and the bartender says, "hey aren't you that string that just left?"
To which he replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 04 2016
Why are dragons hard to work with ???
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 03 2016
Visited the parents after a hard day's work
Me: "Man, I am exhausted, I busted my ass today."
Dad: "I can tell, there's a crack in it."
π︎ 106
π
︎ Dec 10 2013
Got dad joked hard at work today
I was wearing shorts, and my jellyfish tattoo on my leg was showing. My friend and co-worker passes and says "nice tat! Did it sting when you got it?"
π︎ 73
π
︎ Apr 17 2014
My dad works a bit too hard with his personal trainer....
My dad recently started working out, and so he got a personal trainer at our local gym. Earlier today they were texting each other....
Dad: Hey, are you available 5pm on Tuesday?
PT: I believe so. Let me get back to you to confirm that.
Dad: K, sounds good. I'm free other days as well, so if Tuesday doesn't work then no sweat :)
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jul 20 2014
Got dadjoked pretty hard at work yesterday
Me: I'm going to get a haircut after work today.
Senior employee: So which one are you going to cut?
Laughs were had
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 26 2014
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