It’s a mail dominated industry.
Since it's 2020.
After all, not all batboys grow up to become batmen.
That's why i get hammered after work
I knead a hug
She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...
Edit: I thunk up a better punchline.
Because they have a lot to prove
He was Satired'
The vet had recently diagnosed him with silly yak disease.
Some would even call it egg-sauce-ting.
They’re all pretty brainless.
They really are fucking heroes
Why do you beehive like this?
You must take it sheariously.
I just needed something to fall back on
The Bucharest.
troubleshooting
I asked this question of my gf and she looked at me oddly and asked how.
Well your legs become a ruler after a long shift.
She looks at me, knowing something's coming. "And how's that?"
Well you always complain that they're a king after a long shift. A king is a ruler, so your legs can measure things.
Took her a minute. Got something thrown at me. Good times.
In an effort to cheer him up, his wife says “Honey I have great news! I found a great deal on a vacation for us next week! We’re going to Peru!” The husband says “Peru?! That’s fantastic! Alpaca suitcase!”
Training.
My plan:
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngster: Huh? What's snoo?
Me: Nothing much, thanks for asking. What's new with you?? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahha
What really happened
Me: Hey, do you have any snoo?
Youngter: sensing a trap No, I think most of the snoo is up in the north east lately.
Me: Stunned silence
they've got me working 24/7.
And he says, "bartender I've a had a really hard day at work I need a drink." And the bartender then says, "wait you're a piece of string, I can't serve you!" So the string leaves. Then he gets an idea, he ties himself in a knot and unravels his ends. Then he walks back in and the bartender says, "hey aren't you that string that just left?" To which he replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
They fire everyone
Me: "Man, I am exhausted, I busted my ass today."
Dad: "I can tell, there's a crack in it."
I was wearing shorts, and my jellyfish tattoo on my leg was showing. My friend and co-worker passes and says "nice tat! Did it sting when you got it?"
My dad recently started working out, and so he got a personal trainer at our local gym. Earlier today they were texting each other....
Dad: Hey, are you available 5pm on Tuesday?
PT: I believe so. Let me get back to you to confirm that.
Dad: K, sounds good. I'm free other days as well, so if Tuesday doesn't work then no sweat :)
Me: I'm going to get a haircut after work today.
Senior employee: So which one are you going to cut?
Laughs were had
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