When my wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, βHa! Thatβs not going to help!β
βSure, it does.β I said. βItβs the only way I can see the numbers.β
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
Ha ha forgot to crop
π︎ 53
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
Ha ha ha
π︎ 209
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
Ha ha
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 17 2019
What the fuck has happened to this sub!?
http://m.imgur.com/ImM3RWz
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 16 2021
My wife has started doing lunges to get in shape
It's a big step forward for her
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 02 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ May 13 2021
Ha Ha this is funny joke english is fourth language
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jun 12 2019
The CEO of IKEA has been elected Prime Minister of Sweden.
He's currently assembling his cabinet.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ May 02 2021
Ha
π︎ 21
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︎ Jul 11 2020
HA!
π︎ 66
π
︎ May 02 2020
Has this been made yet?
π︎ 261
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
My favorite crime tv show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
π︎ 118
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
Whenever my son sees a balloon, he has the urge to burst it...
I wish he wasn't influenced so much by pop culture.
π︎ 364
π
︎ May 27 2021
Ha Icyyy
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
π︎ 841
π
︎ May 18 2021
What insect has high cholesterol
π︎ 388
π
︎ May 21 2021
Ha, that's funny
π︎ 78
π
︎ Jan 10 2020
Ah Ha Ha
π︎ 49
π
︎ May 01 2020
Ha. Its got no eyes.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
Everyone has heard of the historical figure Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
π︎ 130
π
︎ May 25 2021
Which rock group has four guys who canβt sing or play instruments?
π︎ 84
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︎ May 31 2021
BREAKING NEWS: A man has learned how to do origami backwards!
More on this story as it unfolds
π︎ 376
π
︎ May 19 2021
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 28 2020
Did you know Stephen King has a son named Joe?
Iβm not joking, but he is.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
Ha. Movie trailer.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
ha punny
π︎ 822
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︎ Apr 05 2019
I bought my 10 year old son an acoustic guitar yesterday and he has mastered 3 chords already.
So now the full Oasis songbook is covered he's moved on to a new one.
π︎ 121
π
︎ May 11 2021
A ha geddit reddit
π︎ 84
π
︎ Oct 13 2019
YouTube has some good finds
π︎ 228
π
︎ May 07 2021
A technique that has been used for decades
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Feb 26 2021
What has 7 arms and sucks?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 03 2021
My fiance's father has forbidden our fruit themed wedding in Vegas...
Looks like we cantaloupe.
Edit: I'm sorry all. I know this is an especially low hanging fruit. Hell, it's practically on the ground.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 03 2021
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
.
Edit: thank you guys so much for the rewards! I was told this joke from my 9 year old sister, she was well chuffed to see all the votes and people thinking she was funny
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
My dad has a crippling deli meat addiction
he has to quit cold turkey π€£
π︎ 355
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
Ha, is the funny joke
π︎ 33
π
︎ Sep 24 2019
Whatβs long, strong, bendable and has the letters p, i, n, s, e?
π︎ 27
π
︎ May 28 2021
A ha, he took on the job.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
Me: my nose has been running for days, I hope Iβm not getting a cold
Wife: probably just allergies, the air is full of pollen
Me: I guess you could say Iβm snotty by nature
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 29 2021
Ha!
π︎ 43
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
What's the most important invention humanity has ever created?
Ventitian blinds, otherwise it'd be curtains for us all
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 29 2021
Ha, cashew
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
This has so much potential but I just canβt think of anything!
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 29 2021
Ha! Got em!
π︎ 38
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
My friend said a show that is about kids that fight fantastical monsters with another kid that has special abilities would never take off in popularity.
But I've seen stranger things.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 26 2021
whoever this happened to definitely has some problems to bear
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 24 2021
ha ha ha, classic comedy
π︎ 33
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in my stomach. βHaΒΒ! Thatβs not going to help,β she said.
βSure, it does,β I said. βItβs the only way I can see the numbers.β
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jun 30 2019
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
π︎ 157
π
︎ May 09 2021
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