Groundly Puns

..take it out, flip it over and lower again.

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

People are just dying to get in there!

But then I realized it was a repost

I was like "come on, don't Kikkoman when he's down"

The police are treating it as a hummuside

It's my sixth sense.

He was in a depression

It was shocking!

I know he means well

"I didn't say she was insane", exclaims Mickey. "I said she was fucking Goofy."

Due to his current conduct, I had to ground him.

He responds with “because he’s My Newt”

... so you only want to use a tahini bit at a time.

No TV for a week.

He felon.

Army

Of course he denied the charge first, but later I found him coiled up in his room. He's conducting himself better now, so I think that worked out. Well that's the current situation anyways, but there's definitely potential for greater resistance. Some days I just feel like I don't have the capacity for raising kids.

The pie rooted deeply on the ground. I pulled out the root and ‘the root of the pie’ (√π) was endless, because it is

√3.14152635915924843444815927915932653598979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328230664709384460955058223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038196442881097566593344612847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217986094370277053921717629317675238467481846766940513200056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872146844090122495343014654958537105079227968925892354201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837978049951059731732816096318590244594553469083026425223082533446850352619118817101000313783875288658753320838142061717766914730359825349042875546873115956286388235378759375195778564856692346034861045432664821339360726024914127372458700660631558817488152092096282925409171536436789259036001133053054882046652138414695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179310511854807446237996274956735188575272489122793818301194912983367336244065664308602139494639522473719070217986094370277053921717629317675238467481846766940513200056812714526356082778577134275778960917363717872146844090122495343014654958537105079227968925892354201995611212902196086403441815981362977477130996051870721134999999837956485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623799627495673518857527248912279381830119491298336733624406566430860213949463952247371907021798609437027705392171762931767523846748184676694051320005681271452635608277857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499999983799605187072113499999983797804995105973173281609631859024459455346908302642522308253344685035261911881710100031378387528865875332083814206171776691473035982534904287554687311595628638823537875937519577856485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469519415116094330572703657595

Lean beef.

Apparently it was a low “ha”.

It was Earth shatnering news.

It was a ground-breaking invention

A Communist plot.

not a bouncer

I was pretty sure that it was my neighbor

But when I asked him about it he said it wasn't him

The plot thickens

"But why?!" he yelled.

I said, "Because you don't act irrationally..."

He's now grounded until he conducts himself properly

Done Done Done

Done Da-Done

Done Da-Done...

With credit to my seven year old, who tells this joke about 30 times a day.

#nofilter

You can only "ran" because it's past tents. (Sorry if this has been posted before. I just joined this sub)

He’ll be fine

I guess I have a lot of throwing up to do.

Why does it matter? they aren’t coming anyways.

It goes against everything I stand for.

I prefer them sweet, but salty certainly has a kick to it.

Cause it Megahurtz

He is doing better currently and conducting himself properly

I know he means well.