What do you get when you grind orphan wheat?

Self-raising flour.

👍︎ 28
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📅︎ Dec 23 2020
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An Axe to Grind

An Axe to Grind
A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't
want to pay for it."

But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining,
he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house. 
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down so fast?" his son asks.

"I didn't cut it down," the father replies. 
"I got it at a tree lot."

"Then why did you bring an axe?"

"Because I didn't want to pay."

👍︎ 16
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📅︎ Dec 25 2020
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You know what really grinds my gears?

Friction.

👍︎ 17
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📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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You know what grinds my gears?

My transmission when I miss shift.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Aug 10 2020
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My roommate accidentally spilled his coffee grinds this morning...

I told him he was grounded

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Apr 06 2020
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You know what grinds my gears?

Shifting them improperly.

👍︎ 38
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📅︎ Dec 30 2019
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True story: my daughter was playing a pet-salon game on her iPad and said to me: "Hey dad, I've just worked out that if you just brush their teeth over and over you get experience points faster." To which I replied: "You shouldn't grind your teeth."
👍︎ 294
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📅︎ Dec 08 2018
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You know what really grinds my gears?

Worn out synchro rings in my manual gearbox.

👍︎ 2
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👤︎ u/Betamax-86
📅︎ Jul 09 2019
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You know what really grinds my gears?

Driving in first gear.

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ Mar 20 2019
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You know what really grind my gears. v.redd.it/k6ofdf526rk11
👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/ItzYaBoi25
📅︎ Sep 07 2018
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Does anybody remember the movie "Grind"?

Roger Ebert gave it a skating review.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jun 01 2018
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You know what really grinds my gears?

When you drive my car without using the clutch!

👍︎ 2
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📅︎ Mar 09 2015
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You know what really grinds my gears?

Clutch failure.

👍︎ 27
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📅︎ Nov 09 2020
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Do you want to know what really grinds my gears?

A blown clutch

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Zniper746
📅︎ Nov 14 2020
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You know what really grinds my gears?

A metal filer

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/FamBoy27
📅︎ Jul 19 2020
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You know what really grinds its gears?

An analog clock.

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Jun 04 2019
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Wanna know what really grinds my gears?

Rust.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/angellego
📅︎ Feb 27 2019
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You know what really grinds my gears?

No pushing in the clutch all the way.

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/g00secs
📅︎ Dec 28 2018
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You know what really grinds my gears?

Lack of lubricant.

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/srdoge007
📅︎ Apr 19 2018
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You know what really grinds my gears???

An ungreased cog

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ May 01 2014
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