What does a grammatically-correct, upside-down owl inquire?

ΒΏWOHM ΒΏWOHM

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonMinusJon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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It's grammatically incorrect to actually use a split infinitive
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Korokus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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What job has the most grammatically correct people?

People who make games because they are pro-grammars

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValiantG11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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To be grammatically correct, it really should be "Samsang."

Or, "Samhadsung." Past participle vs. past perfect...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akambe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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Easter is grammatically incorrect.

We should say more east.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colinmacus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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Request for sexy grammatical pun

Can someone think up a pun that comes from the phrase "Proper Comma Usage" but also relates to the most popular form of male-member based contraception?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dice777
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2015
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Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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A friend sent me a text apologizing for the atrocious grammatical errors in his last message. I told him not to worry

I speak Atrocian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Haidukenshiruken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...

It must have been the delivery...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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If you see me make a grammatical error

Just assume I’m being fecesish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pepperoni_troll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Two chemists walk into a bar. "I'll have H2O," says the first. "I'll have H2O, too," says the second.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NullVoidPointer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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β€œIs this the Spanish word for β€˜nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.

β€œSi, estΓ‘.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SDM0102
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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I hate it when people make grammatical errors when they're posting their joke.

Because there's no pun-ctuation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mark_VDB
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
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What do you call a pun lacking grammatical structure?
  • Bad Pun-ctuation...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Razor1987
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2015
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I can always identify people who have a hard time counting to 10.

They are usually ahead of me in the express lane at the grocery store.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KGG_ON_REDDIT
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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I never learned when to properly use contractions but that is ok

it's what it's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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How many eyes does a cyclops have?

None if you're spelling it correctly.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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Asking my daughter some Brainquest (kids trivia) questions: Is a pair of socks an even or odd number?

Her response: Even. But they smell odd.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/martyz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2016
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Why couldn't the two melons get married?

They were cantaloupes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixelartwexler
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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I'd like my fatherhood license please

A fake duolingo account made a post with a grammatical error. I corrected them, and here's the resulting joke

Anon- "duolingo is fluent in language, not grammar" Me- "languages require grammar... Czech mate"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bourgeois_Z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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Conversation with my fiancΓ©es father (second yellow is her name) after reading r/dadjokes for too long...
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/charizzardd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2013
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Attention whores... psh..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Morgo311
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2014
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite computer game?

A: Mein Kraft


^(/u/a_fan_of_grump points out that if you spell it "meine kraft" then it's grammatically correct German and it means "my power" - quite fitting actually)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/florinandrei
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2016
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I can read you're mind

You are thinking about my grammatical error.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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What happens when you spill tequila at the pudding factory?

The proof is in the pudding

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πŸ‘€︎ u/handyandy69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2016
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Someone got really angry at me for using the wrong 'your' the other day...

I thought they were just being over-grammatic...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrCabbageman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate.

Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.

While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).

I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)

The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."

I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.

Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)

What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"

Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.

I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)

I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".

I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kieuk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2011
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Two Scientists walk into a bar...

"I'll have H2O," says the 1st. "I'll have H2O, too," says the 2nd. The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position, as well as pragmatic context.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krombopulos137
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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