Graduation Ceremony Puns

One of my friends was talking about how she needed glasses because she couldnt see, so she used to wear colored glasses and i replied "but you can already see color just fine".

After the commencement ceremony was over, we walk out and I say,

Me: "Man, it was getting toasty in there!"

SO's Dad: "What? That stadium was freezing! "

Me: "I thought it was hot! There must have been 500 degrees in there!"

I got headshakes from her sister and her mom, and a "Hey! I'm totally using that!" from her dad. I think I'm in!

Mods, if this is against the rules, I apologize. Feel free to remove and I'll try and find better luck on Google.

I'm a middle school teacher and my 8th graders are graduating on Thursday. They've been a great, wonderful class to have, but they always complain about lame my jokes are. I feel that the most suitable way to send them off would be, either on the last day of class or at their graduation ceremony, would be to send them off with their own individual dad roast from me. (Think Norm MacDonald at the Bob Saget roast).

If anybody has any good dad roast jokes that won't get me fired nor get misconstrued for bullying, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks!