Best Golf Pun contest has started
Our Golf Pun contest is starting tonight at 5PM EST. It's free to enter. Winner gets $150 Amazon eGift Card .........
Please invite all the punsters you'd like .......... https://golfpuns.com/index.php
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︎ Dec 12 2019
Golf puns
My wife: Don't forget tomorrow we're going to the driving range.
Me: I'm sure it'll be a ball.
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︎ Feb 13 2017
My dad's amazing golf pun
My family (Canadian) were talking about the PGA and the golfer Dustin Johnson became the subject of discussion. For anyone who doesn't follow golf, Johnson has come under some scrutiny lately for:
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Failing drug tests, leading him to withdraw from the PGA tour.
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Allegedly cheating on his girlfriend Paulina Gretzky (daughter of the hockey player Wayne Gretzky)
My dad then cracks this one:
"Looks like he's no longer in the PG, eh?"
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︎ Aug 05 2014
Name my webapp: Golf + code = ?
My team is looking for a name for our coding golf web app. The idea is to solve a problem in as few characters of code as possible and we need a code-golf pun for the brand name. We will credit the user if we choose their pun, of course.
Happy punning!
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︎ Nov 17 2014
Dad leaving for his golf game
Dad: "Did you keep my two pair of pants?"
Mom: " umm but why two ?"
Dad: in case i get a hole in one
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I always bring an extra pair of underwear when I go golfing
Just incase I get a hole in one.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
I had to finish the last half of my golf match naked.
I was only dressed to the nines.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
I have two pairs of trousers, but I prefer one of them for golfing
Because thereβs a hole in one
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︎ Apr 30 2021
My friend asked why I always bought an extra pair of socks when golfing...
'In case I get a hole in one'
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I asked a golf fan and a race fan what there favorite thing was about the sport?
They both said they like to watch people drive
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︎ Apr 12 2021
Subway just opened a golf course
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︎ Apr 08 2021
So a bear walks out of the woods onto a golf course
The golfers didn't want to bear with him about the whereabouts of Tiger Woods and ran towards another bearing.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
Did you hear the one about what some insects say when theyβre golfing?
Never mind. Iβm sure youβve heard it bee fore.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Why do fighter pilots hate playing golf?
They keep hitting bogeys.
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Me: Do you want to watch porn or golf?
Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Why do old people constantly play golf?
So they can lower their amount of strokes
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...
DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.
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︎ Nov 05 2020
When is a cake like a golf ball?
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Why didn't the pro golfer wear his golf shoes during the round? (Compliments of my stylist)
Because he's got a hole in one.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...
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︎ Nov 15 2020
People often ask me how I can play golf so much and still be so bad at it
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︎ Oct 19 2020
A dad and son drove by a golf course next to a few houses the son asked βwhat happens if the ball lands in the houseβ
The dad said βitβs a home-in-oneβ
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Who is the best person at the golf course to get to make coffee?
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I didn't want to believe my husband was robbing golf courses
But I couldn't ignore the red flags any longer.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I took two pairs of socks golfing
In case I got a hole in one
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︎ Jan 06 2020
My daughter keeps putting my golf visors on all of her stuffed animals
She told me they call her the queen advisor
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︎ Dec 02 2020
I played golf and it was boring.
Well that's just par for the course.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I never knew making socially awkward comments was such an important part of playing golf...
But I always hearing the commentators saying "He needs to make this faux pas"
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︎ Nov 24 2020
My friend tried opening up a driving range to compete with Top Golf.
Not sure if he pulled it off but I know it took a lot of balls to do it.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
Seems a little inappropriate having a strip club across the road from Mini golf in town. Iβm a pretty liberal guy but if Iβm having a day out with my family the last thing I want to look across the road and see is a bunch of losers playing mini golf.
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︎ May 07 2019
If you go golfing, make sure to wear two pair of pants
In case you get a hole in one
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︎ Aug 07 2020
What does life and golf and in common?
The less strokes you have, the better.
Edit* βWhat does life and golf have in commonβ not β...and in commonβ
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︎ Jul 22 2020
I quit my job as the Pro at the local Miniature Golf course...
... I found the work oft-putting.
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Why did President Trump lose the golf tournament?
All his mini strokes put him above par.
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︎ Sep 14 2020
The orthopedic surgeon finally found his model of the human wrist behind an old box of golf tees
I guess you could say he couldnβt see the faux wrist for the tees.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said βthat gave me a heart attack!β
I told him βactually that was a strokeβ
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︎ Jul 05 2020
I've been trying to start playing golf
But I just can't get into the swing of things
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︎ Aug 01 2020
No one laughs at my βbring an extra pair of pants when you go golfingβ joke.
I guess βhole-in-oneβ jokes are sub-par.
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︎ Jul 11 2020
What is the only 4 letter word sport that starts with a 'T'?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
I always bring an extra pair of pants golfing...
...just in case I get a hole in one.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
When I go golfing, I always take an extra jacket
In case I get a hole in one.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I always take an extra pair of socks when I go golfing
In case I get a hole in one
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︎ May 02 2020
When I go golfing I always take an extra jacket...
In case I get a hole in one
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︎ Sep 19 2020
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