Gaming Computers Puns

Suddenly, my brother walked in. "Little bro, I've got a confession to make", he said. "This has been coming for a long time... I've been thinking about it, and it's time to come out. I'm not a man. Brother... I'm a trans woman. Tomorrow I'll start transitioning!

I stared at her a bit, my new sister... and then I grabbed her and stuck her in my computer. The machine immediately lit up, the fan spinning. "Just what I needed," I thought, "a transistor!"

It didn’t work out since it had too many bugs and viruses.

It lost all its HP.

They're calling it the Big Mac

I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

...performance improved for a while, but it soon crashed.

A: Mein Kraft

^(/u/a_fan_of_grump points out that if you spell it "meine kraft" then it's grammatically correct German and it means "my power" - quite fitting actually)

Geek Yogurt

Hack and /

Me: I don't really like curling

Dad: You've gotta get the hang of it. It involves a lot of strategy. It's like chess.

Me: I don't really like chess either.

Dad: Well that's cause there's no mouse or toggle switch involved.

Me: Dad what's a toggle switch?

Dad: Not a toggle switch... Uh... What are those things called...

Me: Joysticks?

Dad: Yeah joysticks.

Me: Dad people don't use joysticks anymore.

Dad: So that's why people are so miserable all the time.

He’s currently playing a computer game when I heard hammering or chopping. I looked onscreen to see his character hitting a wall or fence. I asked if he was building a fence, to which he replied “I’m fortifying this structure for protection.” So I said, “ah, so you’re building de-fense.”

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.

The blonde thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.