I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift

So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tazzles26
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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Marilyn Manson stepping up his dad-joking game. (Courtesy u/Xaurnel on r/funny)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SPEMason
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
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I told my wife it's funny that I can't beat my friend in a certain card game, but win against him every time in the online version.

I guess when I'm using a mouse something just clicks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunnrhildr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2015
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My friend is obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while taking a shower.

He has serious selfie steam issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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My friend didn’t appreciate it, but I hope that you guys will
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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There used to be a game in Germany called nine.

It didn’t last long because no one ever agreed to play it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murdock431
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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What do they call fist bumps in the U.K.?

British Pounds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flandersmcj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2016
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Channel Shark News

I wrote a little skit for my grandkids let's see how much I remember. CHUM 8 news Ted Hammerhead reporting with sky Chompter traffic report. Top story, a lone shark, who is a loan shark is alone in the dark making loans to sharks! There is a new place to gamble, the place is full of sharks who turn out to be card sharks playing card games with sharks on the cards. Imagune the dogs playing poker for this story, but it's sharks. The other reporter asks Ted Hammerhead how he did on his recent drivers test, Ted responds "nailed it". Crime scene where a clown has been killed and the Detective states, " No way a shark did this as they taste funny". On a comment about the victim. I never did the weather or figured out names for the other reporters we used to laugh and laugh at my stupid puns.

Edit: I can't spell fixed typos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phroedrick
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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[REQUEST] Username Pun

Hi guys, I need to change my username online (mostly used in games) as it's not really something unique ( came from a book I read when I was younger ).

I'm trying to find something quite funny, with plays on words for example. But english isn't my native language and I find it quite hard ! So I'm asking you guys to help me :) You're the best for that imho !

If you could help me find something mixing music (percussions/drums), sciences (my field of study, physics to be more precise), beer and animals maybe (?) (because I like that !)

I think this is possible to find something using some science-specific noun and something else. But I can't seem to find one that suits me :(

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PRD-dat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Wife got me in the movie theater...

We were watching the newest Hunger Games movie a couple of weekends ago. Throughout the film she was (very quietly) whispering interesting things that were in the books but not the film.

Mild Spoilers

There is a certain part where a character goes back for a cat.

End Mild Spoilers

She leans over and I think she was going to tell me another interesting things about the scene. She whispered a little louder than the other times, "You've gotta be kitten me right meow!"

You could hear the slight chuckle from the people in front of us and I had to stifle my laughter. I probably shouldn't find it that funny, but I love good timing and a corny joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackdragon8577
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2014
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One of my most solid, and witty dad joke i have ever dropped.

back story: So my mom had a friend come over last night and i was in the kitchen getting a glass of water. They are talking about board games for whatever reason. So here's how it went down.

Mom: my favorite board game is sorry! Friend: my game of sorry is ruined because my son spilled milk on it. me: oh I'm "sorry" to hear that.

I cracked up. they didn't find it as funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/familiarleaf1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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Dat-honored.

I was in my room watching a YouTube video of someone playing Dishonored on my laptop. My dad came in and asked what I was doing. I said I was watching a video game. He's asked what video game it was. I said "It's called Dishonored." His response was "What about Dat-honored?" I fell off my chair at how funny and just plain bad his response was. He's always quoting jokes from this subreddit, so I thought I'd post one about his dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Only1Chapter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2014
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Listening to the radio....

So. We were listening to the Cardinals almost throw a game to the Titans earlier and the conversation went like this

Me: hey dad is this Sirius radio. We have one in our car too.

Dad: no, sometimes it's funny also.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/misslehead3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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