McDonalds is working with Apple to create a huge gaming computer

They're calling it the Big Mac

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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Oct 27 2020
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Have you heard about the new probiotic dairy product that you can make using a high-end gaming computer and 3D printer?

Geek Yogurt

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👤︎ u/acemask
📅︎ Jan 28 2018
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Whats a computer nerds favourite gaming genre?

Hack and /

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📅︎ Oct 01 2016
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What is Hitler's favourite computer game?

MeinKamph

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👤︎ u/DaGamer5T3
📅︎ Jun 04 2020
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I asked a french man if he plays computer games

He said wii

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👤︎ u/coppy_68
📅︎ Apr 04 2020
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I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games...

I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

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📅︎ Mar 17 2017
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite computer game?

A: Mein Kraft


^(/u/a_fan_of_grump points out that if you spell it "meine kraft" then it's grammatically correct German and it means "my power" - quite fitting actually)

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📅︎ Apr 09 2016
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My dad talking about computer games

Me: I don't really like curling

Dad: You've gotta get the hang of it. It involves a lot of strategy. It's like chess.

Me: I don't really like chess either.

Dad: Well that's cause there's no mouse or toggle switch involved.

Me: Dad what's a toggle switch?

Dad: Not a toggle switch... Uh... What are those things called...

Me: Joysticks?

Dad: Yeah joysticks.

Me: Dad people don't use joysticks anymore.

Dad: So that's why people are so miserable all the time.

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👤︎ u/YaM8
📅︎ Dec 06 2013
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I have a whole book of 365 jokes, one for each day of the year. Here are some of the ones I dont cringe at:
  1.    Why do prisoners hate computers?
    

The escape key never works.

  1.   How do trees get on the internet? 
    

They log in.

  1.  Knock knock.
    

Who's there? Toucan. Toucan who? Toucan play at that game

  1. How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs.

  2. Why was the empty Olympic stadium so hot? All the fans had left.

  3. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.

  4. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.

  5. Can February March? No but April may.

  6. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.

10.why are recycling bins so optimistic? Cuz they're full of cans.

[Insert minion meme]

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📅︎ Jun 09 2019
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What's it with Eminem and Dad jokes?

I mean... just look at those:

- Why has Gwen Stacy been on the web lately?

to spite her man. -River

- Why do you carry a Laptop in your back pocket?

Because rapping like a computer must be in my genes. - Rap God

- Why did Eminem blow?

All he did was throw f-bombs - Rap God

- Why did Eminem buy the rap game a maxi pad?

Because it's having a rough time period. - Rap God

- Why did Eminem look so shocked when he watched a church gathering take place?

He was witnessing a mass occur. - Rap God

- How could Eminem poop Jerusalem?

Because his shit is real. - Caterpillar

- Why is Eminem so ill-behaved?

He's got a couple of mansions, but still no mannors. - Lucky You

And these are just a select few.

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📅︎ May 04 2019
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The award for the best dadjokes 2018 goes to...

… u/ebkbk for this post: Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian. made on 24.11. with 38.9k upvotes

[also already made by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes]

Let's move on to the top 3 of each month:

January:

  1. Is this sub still active? by u/I_Fart_Liquids on 01.01. with 36.4k upvotes

  2. Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine by u/daugarten on 20.01. with 30.8k upvotes

  3. An open letter to the mods of r/dadjokes: by u/Alfie_13 on 27.01. with 18.9k upvotes

February:

  1. Was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm. by u/jakeisbill on 05.02. for 20.3k upvotes

  2. My daughter asked me what I'm posting on Reddit... by u/madazzahatter on 25.02. for 18.3k upvotes

  3. When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. by u/ownworldman on 23.02. for 17.7k upvotes

March:

  1. I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought... by u/madazzahatter on 21.03. for 22.2k upvotes

  2. Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. by u/Tface on 25.03. for 16.9k upvotes.

  3. [When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.](https://www.reddit.com/r/da

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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👤︎ u/Skormes
📅︎ Jan 18 2019
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I'm proud of my daughter

Before her bath last night, my 7 year old saw my copy of Skyrim by the computer.

"Games for Windows??? But dad, you're not a window!"

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👤︎ u/FnDork
📅︎ Oct 01 2018
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Dad gifts gaming PC to his sons in individual parts and wraps the components with some dad jokes.

http://www.reddit.com/r/buildapc/comments/1tnxio/my_kids_asked_for_a_gaming_computer_for_christmas/

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👤︎ u/Wutda7
📅︎ Dec 25 2013
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Have I failed as a father?

I have a teenaged son who just simply doesn't get dad jokes. At all. Today he was in his bedroom with his door mostly closed, but open just a crack, and he was playing some game on his computer and Skyping with a friend. He gave me a great opportunity as I walked by his door so I lobbed an easy one at him.

Him (excitedly yelling) : "I have silent boots on!"

Me: "Sounds to me like you're wearing loud boots"

Him: "No. They're silent"

*sigh*

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📅︎ Oct 22 2016
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Our dad has taught us well

While I was watching my youngest brother's computer screen, my other brother, currently in the Marines, sends him an invite to play a game.

>Marines: You down?

>Youngest: No, I don't have an extra chromosome.

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👤︎ u/Kuebic
📅︎ Jul 29 2015
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Any League of Legends players out there?

I got into an ARAM game the other day. For those of you who do not know there are characters, or champions, you pick in the game. ARAM is a game-mode in League of Legends where the computer gives you a random character out of the 130+ champions, or so. I am not good at all the champions... not even close! So a way to balance this out the game allows you to trade champions with the other people on your team.

So in this game there is a champion called Fizz which I am not good with at all, which I randomly got... and this is what happened inside the pre-game chat:

Me: Oh shoot.

Me: Can anyone trade me?

--Someone trades me their champion--

Me: Thank you! I am so bad with this little guy that you can say I am... Fizzically challenged.

From a game lobby where I was the only one who used chat, it exploded to people typing their moaning and groaning, sensible chuckles, and hearty "LOLs".

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📅︎ Nov 14 2014
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Dad-joked my friend while playing cards

My friend and I were playing Magic The Gathering (Card game), and we were talking about our previous games at a tournament that just happened couple days prior. He told me he lost a game due to a little mistake.

His exact words were "Man, I was so stupid. I mis-read it" I replied with "Well, if you mis-read it, theres a computer behind you." My friend then groaned... looked at me, and shook his head, while i laughed at my own joke.

ba dum, tsh!

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👤︎ u/Lazer_69
📅︎ Mar 22 2015
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I'm afraid

I see my son playing a computer game.

Me: What game is that?

Son: Fear.

Me: I'm afraid I've never heard of it.

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👤︎ u/AichSmize
📅︎ Nov 01 2015
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