It was his vinyl resting place
A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.
Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.
First one was a simple one. I was riding with my parents to see family, and they were talking. My mom said, "if you need anything, just let me know." My dad said, "K." I checked to confirm with him that he needed potassium.
That day, people were texting me to hang out. Someone made something happen that I didn't expect, to which I responded, "WHAT?? HOW??", and they told me not to be a CAPITAList.
There was one more. I'll go back and edit in if I remember, but I'm tired. It's been a long day.
My father was quite the musician.
His favorite instrument was the saxophone.
Growing up, I’d hear him practice on it every night after work for hours upon hours.
One night, I heard an awful SCREECH and my Dad howled in pain.
"Dad, are you alright?!?"
"Don’t worry, son, it’s just a saxident."
knowdadjokes.tumblr.com
I asked my dad if our hotel had any blankets. He came into the room, chucked one at me and said, "Here's a throw!"
I'm usually good with name puns , but I can't think of a funny way to incorporate it. Some words to help - Glory, Glorious, Galore, Glow, , euphoria...
Edit/update: I used Glorias as in glorious. "I hope you had a Glorias day"
She said, "lmao, your silly".
I think that's a win....?
In science today we were discussing chemical reactions, more specifically ones resulting in light.
Science teacher: "Have any of you seem that show '1000 ways to die'?
Most answer yes.
Teacher: "Well one episode some guy decided to inject himself with the contents of a glow stick to make his veins glow. He died."
Without thinking about it, I stand up and loudly blurt out: "He wasn't too bright, was he?"
Groans galore. I was so proud.
Me: I'm thinking about switching to T-Mobile. I've heard they let you use data, text, and talk with no fees while in Europe and Canada.
My GF: Oh? You won't be roaming?
Me: Nope! Not even when I'm in Rome!
eyes roll, grumbles galore
