"When it hits the floor," I informed him.
Everyone I ask can't remember either.
Cain didnβt kill his brother Abel until after he had killed their other two brothers, Edward and William Nigel. To be fair, they practically volunteered to be killed; after all, they were Eddy, Will N., and Abel.
The Earl of Sandwich
Grandfather: Gah these cookies are hard! Cousin: Do you need some milk grandpa? Grandfather: No I need some teeth
She's related to me, my wife, and her 2 sisters.
Anyway the joke I made tonight-
My in-laws had to the 2 older girls while we were at the hospital, and got home tonight. I looked down and realized I had a hole in one of my socks, and said "guess it's time to throw this one away."
My father in law said, "yeah. I've been getting holes in my socks and have been throwing them away, too."
I said, "Left and right?"
I went to Cabo earlier this year with my girlfriend and her entire family. It was for her dad's 50th birthday. The two grandfathers were taking pictures, with their iPads, all week long. On our way back home waiting in the Airport terminal the grandfathers were off taking pictures of the plane we were about to board.
Girlfriend's step-mom: "Seriously!? Do they have to take pictures of everything?"
Me: "Well yeah, they're the paparazzi."
Groans all around. My girlfriend's father staring at me and clapping says, "I'll never be able to top that."
Girlfriend: Gah you're lame. Me: I walk just fine. I try to get one in every morning before work.
Dad: "Let's go to Target."
Me: "Okay, what did you need?"
Dad: "It's not what I need. It's what your brother needs. Gah I need to save his BUTT."
Me: "Oh...what does he need?"
Dad: "Toilet paper."
Doctor - "gah, this computer is being slow."
Me - "Don't worry, ours are the worst at work."
Doctor - (Looks over my test results) Well, it seems to me as if you have a computer virus!
BAZING!
My 4 year old daughter - Guess what that elephant was doing the other day? Me: Having a trunk sale?
Gah... The wife couldn't believe how funny I thought I was.
Edited- Phone likes to add words
