oops....wrong sub
The American cat was named One Two Three, and the French cat was named Un Deux Trois.
The American cat won, because the Un Deux Trois cat sank.
No pain no gain
L’ess cargo.
"Nice" - the American guy said. Then the French guy replied:
"What does my hometown has to do with it?"
I'm not saying I'll watch it. But there's been wurst casting.
Save them to your Phone and always have witty jokes at the palm of your hand.
3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. “I’d like some wings and a pint of beer, please,” it says. “Sorry, but I can’t serve you,” the bartender replies. “You’re out of your head.”
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. “We don’t serve your kind here,” the bartender says. “Why not?” one yogurt asks. “We’re cultured.”
A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. He’s an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and there’s a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, “What are you staring at? Haven’t you ever seen a horse tending bar before?” The guy says, “It’s not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.”
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?” The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”
Armed robbers—some say they’re a drain on society, but you’ve got to give it to them.
Barbers…you have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. There’s Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis… Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit ➡You take away their little brooms
A happy Uncle.....
In the bathroom, because then European, and in the hallway on the way to the bathroom because then you're Russian
They were cooked in Greece.
I got nothing Toulouse
I only have one.
The Americans supported the cause of the French Revolution, but not the execution.
Puns off the names Robespierre, Saint Just, etc especially requested.
The American cat’s name is “One Two Three”. The French cat’s name is “Un Deux Trois”. Which cat won?
One Two Three.
Because Un Deux Trois cat sank.
Because Une-Deux-Troi quatre cinq.
Because... maybe they like fast food
All the ones that are not-Z's
A happy uncle.
"Would you like anything on your chips?"
"Does it cost extra?"
"Ten pence."
"All right, I'll have four sausages and a steak pie."
"Wee Wee Wee"
No, that's what the American little piggy said. The French little piggy said "Yes Yes Yes"
My dad is driving while eating chips (French fries to you Americans), When he puts one on my shoulder. Dad: "Damn, why do you have such a chip on your shoulder?!"
