A list of puns related to "France 3"
It's my last resort!
Edit: changed "it was" to "it's"
WHAT DO YOU SAY IN FRANCE IF YOUR JEANS ARE LOOSE ?
TOULOUSE
Because in France one egg is an oeuf.
(My children are not laughing)
Because in France, one egg is Un ouef.
Not in France.
But I heard theyβre made in Greece.
He has trouble introducing himself in France.
Why doesn't lighting always strike in France?
He asked if they needed to go into quarantine!
(UK just asked everyone coming in from France to observe 2 weeks quarantine)
Because in France, 1 egg is enough.
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itβs a little fishy.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itβs tearable.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.
I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.
I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.
My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donβt think itβs feline well.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.
How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.
What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Thereβs a new type of broom out, itβs sweeping the nation.
What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.
Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.
How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.
What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.
I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.
What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.
I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.
Towels canβt tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"
Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itβs pretty handy.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.
Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.
A cross eyed teacher couldnβt control his pupils.
After the accident, the juggler didn
... keep reading on reddit β‘Not many France, nobodyβs Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. Itβs just Eiffel
He calls his son and says he wanted to tell him something for a long time.
Son Ant : What is it dad?
Father Ant : I cannot say that in this god forbidden country we have to move immediately to France or Italy before i am dead.
Confused,the Son Ant made arrangements to move to France.They boarded a spy ship which took them to south Korea.From there they boarded a flight to France.With great difficulty they finally reached France.The father ant's health became worse.The son ant was thinking what was so important that they had to move to another country, So when they settled in their new home he finally asked..
Son Ant : Dad, We are in France now you can tell whatever you were going to tell me. The Father could not speak up so he signaled his son to come closer.The son did.
Father Ant: Son, We are now Europeants.
In France people give each other white roses on Valentineβs Day because they surrender their love to each other
The crowd told him he wouldn't be able to swim, but he was in denile.
Come to think of it, I heard about a guy in France doing the same thing, but I'm pretty sure he was inseine.
Cardi A. She went to France and opened a jewelry store.
Cardi O. She opened a fitness gym.
Did you know the first French Fries werenβt actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
(Apparently the FedEx driver that delivers to my friend's job is a dad. I'm sure this one is old, but here have a groan anyway.)
I thought it was strange, that all omelettes are so small, but in France they say that one egg is un oeuf.
The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy itβs your vote that counts. In feudalism itβs your count that votes.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, Iβm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you canβt have your kayak and heat it too.
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, Iβve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, Iβm positive.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Me: Oops. Sorry. * raising glass* VIVE LA FRANCE!
In the Middle Ages, Western France was known for it singing knights. The most famous group were a bunch of lancers from the town of Brittany. They were known as the Brittany Spears.
Peppermint Patty: I got France!
Linus: I got Spain!
Charlie Brown: I got Iraq...
What's the capital of France?
F
My friend and I were talking about his sister who is studying abroad in France, with out missing a beat my dad says yeah I studied a broad or two in my day
1, because in France 1 egg is "un oeuf".
...if I put salt on it's tail, is what my dad told me. I spent an entire summer in France running down pidgeons with salt packets (conveniently supplied by my dad).
My dad is out of the country with a cruise and texted me. I told him to Facebook message me so as to not waste his roaming minutes.
His response: Roming on Friday. Florencing tomorrow. Francing today."
I laughed in my cubicle and refused to explain why.
Two Cats swimming the English Channel to France, one was called One Two Three and the other Un Deux Trois
which cat made it?
One Two Three because Un deux trois Cat Sank
Germany has to be one of the smelliest countrys in Europe
-Its so bad they have a town called Cologne
Did you know France has a sibling that had a child?
-Neither did I but its the only explanation for Nice
Poland has this uncanny habit of not finishing its stories
-Warsaw what?
Belgium loves its greens
-City named Brussels gives it away
Everytime i tell anyone of these I need to laugh as the absolute cringe my girlfriend makes and then laugh through the pain of her hitting me whilst saying "Its just not funny".
Personally I love them and I thought i would share them with you.
A group of beans were traveling around France...
They ended up in Cannes.
I wonder if in France they have the Wii Wii.
But in France, one egg is un ouef.
Because in France, one egg is un oeuf.
Did you know that french fries were not made in france. They are actually made in greece.
Not France, but Greece
... because in France one egg is un oeuf.
You know the first french fries, wasnt actually cooked in France but in Greece...π
Contrary to popular belief, the first french fries were not cooked in France! They were cooked in Grease..
You donβt fry french fries in France, you fry them in Greece
.......because in France one egg is un oeuf.
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