He was known as No-Straw-damus
β¦so I just decided to go with a happy medium.
Dad: How unfortunate.
β¦a pesto-mystic
It's a shell company.
I donβt need to buy a vowel because I already have a Sparrow!
Ps thanks to Kittycat Taco for correcting me ππ
YOU DONβT
Her advert copy read: Super California Mystic, Expert: Halitosis.
Start off with a big fortune.
Theres a small medium at large π
Just happened in real life. Took the kids out to a Chinese buffet. When the waitress brings the check and the fortune cookies, my son opens his cookie to read his fortune. Itβs empty. I immediately respond with βthatβs unfortunateβ. Nobody laughed but me. Oh well.
I said, "I bet you $5 that doesn't come true!"
I said "well that's unfortunate"
(this actually just happened)
Heβs a total chick magnate.
One is pissed off, and the other is...
That was unfortunate.
Naturally I replied: βThatβs unfortunate.β
Don't be silly. I'd want to marry you regardless of who left you the fortune.
They lost though. They called βLβ and sadly there was Noel.
Man 2: "That's right, in fact each fish has cost us $80 each."
Man 1: "Well if you put it that way, it's a good thing that we didn't catch any more."
He said, "So...where do you see yourself in...12 days?"
I said, "Not working here anymore."
He said, "Excellent, you're hired."
So here I go again on my own.
"closed today due to unforeseen circumstances"
She sighed and said: "medium". I replied: "well done".
Medium
None. It's a hardware problem.
[ The only joke my late father ever told, my entire life. He passed in 1989, this is his only contribution to the internet. ]
That was unfortunate!
so to cheer myself up, I adopted a dog.
They are a medium.
Heir Jordan.
How unfortunate.
The knight who likes to scare people: sir Prise
The knight from California who loves the Beach Boys: Sir Fer
The knight who was in a sticky situation? Sir Up
The sneaky knight? Sir Reptitious
The fortunate knight? Sir Indipitous
The brown-nosing knight? Sir Yessir
A hammer.
A large fortune
I just looked at her and said, "Well, that's unfortunate."
The farmer was devastated, and in his depression all but neglected the farm, barely able to bring himself to grow and can legumes.
One day as he was aimlessly wandering the road near his fields, hungry and despondent, he came across a deer carcass, freshly hit by a car. The farmer was excited that his luck was changing, since this meant fresh(ish) meat in the first time in months. He shooed the magpies and crows away and began harvesting the deer.
Almost as soon as he had finished, there was a knock at the door. To the farmer's great surprise, his son had returned home. Though he looked quite the worse for wear, the son looked around at the farm with sadness, perhaps realizing the emotional damage he had caused.
The farmer was besides himself with joy, and told his son that tonight he would cook a great feast. The son, surprised, looked around at the fallow fields and run down house and asked, "Dad, do you have much food? What could we possibly eat for this celebratory feast."
The farmer, tears of joy in his eyes and emotion in his voice said:
"Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done"
My father in law said: βThatβs unfortunate.β
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller who escaped from jail? It's a small medium at large.
Police were looking for a small medium at large.
I didn't see a future in it
