Ford Saf Puns

PsychoMarket Recap - Thursday, January 13, 2022

Volatility resumed in the markets after a brief two-day rally, as market participants digested new weekly unemployment data and the monthly CPI and PPI reports, which showed the fastest pace of inflation in decades.

Markets Today

• S&P 500 (SPY): -1.38%
• Nasdaq (QQQ): -2.50%
• Dow Jones (DIA): -0.48%
• Russell 2000 (IWM): -0.92%
• Volatility Index (VIX): +15.27%
• Tesla (TSLA): -6.75%
• NVIDIA (NVDA): -5.27%
• Microsoft (MSFT): -4.23%
• Shopify (SHOP): -8.93%
• Taiwan Semiconductors (TSM): +5.31%
• Cloudflare (NET): -13.35%
• Alibaba (BABA): -4.92%

The Labor Department’s weekly unemployment report showed an unexpected rise in first-time filings, with new unemployment claims rising to 230,000 from 207,000 last week. Still, new filings remain near pre-pandemic levels. Continuing jobless claims improved to their lowest level since 1973. Here are the numbers:

• Initial jobless claims: 230,000 vs. 200,000 expected and an unrevised 207,000 during prior week
• Continuing claims: 1.559 million vs. 1.733 million expected and a revised 1.753 million during prior week

Meanwhile, the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ December producer price index (PPI) showed a 9.7% year-over-year increase in prices paid by producers, the biggest jump since 2010. Core PPI, which excludes volatile food and energy prices, came in at 8.3%.

Omar Aguilar, Chief Investment Officer at Charles Schwab Asset Management, said “The inflation picture obviously is something that people are trying to understand — the concept of PPI and the fact that we're getting ... numbers that we haven't seen in quite some time. The labor market seems to continue to be very tight and very strong, and I think investors are trying to understand what the implications might be for the reaction of the central bank.”

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/ppi.nr0.htm

The PPI comes the day after the Consumer Price Index (CPI) showed that prices for consumer goods rose 7.0% year-over-year, the fastest pace of inflation since 1982. CPI matched consensus estimates and showed a minor acceleration compared to November 6.8% print.

By category, prices for used cars and trucks and shelter were the largest contributors to the headline increase. The used cars and trucks index rose for a third straight month and accelerated to a 3.5% month-on-month rise in December from November's 2.5% increase. This index was als

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

Full text can be found here. Enjoy!

SEC- Alabama vs Georgia

Prospect: Jameson Williams, WR, Alabama

Since transferring to Alabama from Ohio State in the offseason, Williams has fit into Nick Saban’s offense with ease. He’s put up 1,261 yards and 13 touchdowns all on 61 catches this season in an offense with tons of other weapons to spread the ball to. A big reason the Tide struggled with Auburn last week was that Williams was ejected for targeting early on and the offense was poor from that point. It’ll be very interesting to see how Georgia goes about shutting down Williams as he is probably the biggest X-factor to beating the Bulldogs.

Other Players to Watch: Evan Neal, Jordan Davis, Derion Kendrick, Brian Robinson, Josh Jobe

Big 10- Iowa vs Michigan

Prospect: Hassan Haskins, RB, Michigan

We used Haskins back in Week 11 but it would be criminal not to feature him again here. Haskins was the story of the week (besides Aidan Hutchinson) because of his massive performance against Ohio State where he collected 5 touchdowns and 169 yards all on 26 carries. This game instantly raised his draft stock as Haskins continues to wrack up the carries with Michigan’s [B

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Until he discovered it was extra sharp.

Nothing, he was gladiator.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

PsychoMarket Recap - Thursday, January 13, 2022

Volatility resumed in the markets after a brief two-day rally, as market participants digested new weekly unemployment data and the monthly CPI and PPI reports, which showed the fastest pace of inflation in decades.

Markets Today

• S&P 500 (SPY): -1.38%
• Nasdaq (QQQ): -2.50%
• Dow Jones (DIA): -0.48%
• Russell 2000 (IWM): -0.92%
• Volatility Index (VIX): +15.27%
• Tesla (TSLA): -6.75%
• NVIDIA (NVDA): -5.27%
• Microsoft (MSFT): -4.23%
• Shopify (SHOP): -8.93%
• Taiwan Semiconductors (TSM): +5.31%
• Cloudflare (NET): -13.35%
• Alibaba (BABA): -4.92%

The Labor Department’s weekly unemployment report showed an unexpected rise in first-time filings, with new unemployment claims rising to 230,000 from 207,000 last week. Still, new filings remain near pre-pandemic levels. Continuing jobless claims improved to their lowest level since 1973. Here are the numbers:

• Initial jobless claims: 230,000 vs. 200,000 expected and an unrevised 207,000 during prior week
• Continuing claims: 1.559 million vs. 1.733 million expected and a revised 1.753 million during prior week

Meanwhile, the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ December producer price index (PPI) showed a 9.7% year-over-year increase in prices paid by producers, the biggest jump since 2010. Core PPI, which excludes volatile food and energy prices, came in at 8.3%.

Omar Aguilar, Chief Investment Officer at Charles Schwab Asset Management, said “The inflation picture obviously is something that people are trying to understand — the concept of PPI and the fact that we're getting ... numbers that we haven't seen in quite some time. The labor market seems to continue to be very tight and very strong, and I think investors are trying to understand what the implications might be for the reaction of the central bank.”

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/ppi.nr0.htm

The PPI comes the day after the Consumer Price Index (CPI) showed that prices for consumer goods rose 7.0% year-over-year, the fastest pace of inflation since 1982. CPI matched consensus estimates and showed a minor acceleration compared to November 6.8% print.

By category, prices for used cars and trucks and shelter were the largest contributors to the headline increase. The used cars and trucks index rose for a third straight month and accelerated to a 3.5% month-on-month rise in December from November's 2.5% increase. This index was als

PsychoMarket Recap - Thursday, January 13, 2022

Volatility resumed in the markets after a brief two-day rally, as market participants digested new weekly unemployment data and the monthly CPI and PPI reports, which showed the fastest pace of inflation in decades.

Markets Today

• S&P 500 (SPY): -1.38%
• Nasdaq (QQQ): -2.50%
• Dow Jones (DIA): -0.48%
• Russell 2000 (IWM): -0.92%
• Volatility Index (VIX): +15.27%
• Tesla (TSLA): -6.75%
• NVIDIA (NVDA): -5.27%
• Microsoft (MSFT): -4.23%
• Shopify (SHOP): -8.93%
• Taiwan Semiconductors (TSM): +5.31%
• Cloudflare (NET): -13.35%
• Alibaba (BABA): -4.92%

The Labor Department’s weekly unemployment report showed an unexpected rise in first-time filings, with new unemployment claims rising to 230,000 from 207,000 last week. Still, new filings remain near pre-pandemic levels. Continuing jobless claims improved to their lowest level since 1973. Here are the numbers:

• Initial jobless claims: 230,000 vs. 200,000 expected and an unrevised 207,000 during prior week
• Continuing claims: 1.559 million vs. 1.733 million expected and a revised 1.753 million during prior week

Meanwhile, the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ December producer price index (PPI) showed a 9.7% year-over-year increase in prices paid by producers, the biggest jump since 2010. Core PPI, which excludes volatile food and energy prices, came in at 8.3%.

Omar Aguilar, Chief Investment Officer at Charles Schwab Asset Management, said “The inflation picture obviously is something that people are trying to understand — the concept of PPI and the fact that we're getting ... numbers that we haven't seen in quite some time. The labor market seems to continue to be very tight and very strong, and I think investors are trying to understand what the implications might be for the reaction of the central bank.”

https://www.bls.gov/news.release/ppi.nr0.htm

The PPI comes the day after the Consumer Price Index (CPI) showed that prices for consumer goods rose 7.0% year-over-year, the fastest pace of inflation since 1982. CPI matched consensus estimates and showed a minor acceleration compared to November 6.8% print.

By category, prices for used cars and trucks and shelter were the largest contributors to the headline increase. The used cars and trucks index rose for a third straight month and accelerated to a 3.5% month-on-month rise in December from November's 2.5% increase. This index was als