Iโ€™m addicted to left over thanksgiving food.

I canโ€™t quit cold turkey.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tdrusk
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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Made my first dad joke in awaiting my wife to give birth.

Back story... sitting in the garden, social distancing bbq. One of our mates has a baby who was looking for food and such. I came out with a pack of skips crisp. Babyโ€™s mum said โ€˜gotta be careful, itโ€™s got salt in itโ€™,

To my amazement I said โ€˜ they contain salt!โ€™ To which my partner replies... why do u think there so addictiveโ€™

With out thinking i splutedโ€™ so if I put salt on my dick it will be ad-dick-tive!

No one laughed but me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/qit4444
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Dadjoked Girlfriend Over 'The Walking Dead'

GF: "Why do the zombies want to eat people so badly?"

Me: "Because they have fast food addictions."

She was not pleased.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DrThuglove
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
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Dad joked my co-worker the other day.

Me: Hey! Are you going to the presentation later? Free lunch!

Her: No, I don't think so. I can be really addicted to food so I'm trying to quite cold turkey.

Me: Well maybe they'll have warm turkey instead!
Groans from office

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bearded_fellow
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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