Florists Puns

A list of puns related to "Florists"

Did you hear about the cross-eyed florist?

He couldn't take care of his irises.

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👤︎ u/wimpykidfan37
📅︎ Mar 06 2021
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The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.

And suddenly I’m the idiot....

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👤︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
📅︎ Sep 03 2020
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My florist friend asked me to smell her dianthus caryophyllus

I replied, "What in carnation is that?!?!"

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👤︎ u/PerfectlyWorthwhile
📅︎ Sep 06 2020
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A florist named Chris started a band with 3 of the neighborhood mums. Guess what they called the band?

Chrysanthemums.

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👤︎ u/5ir_viver
📅︎ Sep 03 2020
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Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.

The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.

The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.

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👤︎ u/facts_my_guyy
📅︎ Jul 05 2020
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Our local florist recently expanded to take in the shop space next door.

Business must really be blooming.

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👤︎ u/drozzi007
📅︎ Aug 01 2020
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Did you hear about the florist who died in an accident?

Turns out he was an Orchid donor

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👤︎ u/piratesox
📅︎ Jul 26 2020
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Florist friars
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👤︎ u/mrcgu3
📅︎ May 27 2019
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Why didn’t the florist need any friends?

The flowers were their best buds.

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👤︎ u/Loamawayfromloam
📅︎ Nov 12 2019
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“Good morning,” the new plant said to the florist! The florist replied,

“Hey bud.”

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👤︎ u/thesoupsocialist
📅︎ Oct 20 2019
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How does a southern florist exclaim his disbelief?

What in 'Carnation??

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👤︎ u/StalinsChoice
📅︎ May 21 2019
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I got fired from the florist

I took to many leaves

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👤︎ u/SideOfInsanity
📅︎ May 06 2019
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I just now realized that a florist is not someone that fixes your floor. reddit.com/r/confessions/…
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👤︎ u/AltitudinousOne
📅︎ Dec 18 2018
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Only you can prevent Florist Friars.
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👤︎ u/MaxGuy5
📅︎ May 20 2018
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How did the florist win the competition for best occupation?

He rose above the rest.

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👤︎ u/Dalek2653
📅︎ Mar 27 2019
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My florist died last week.

He kicked the bouquet.

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👤︎ u/logansworth
📅︎ Feb 28 2019
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My friend who is a stock broker on Wall Street wants to open a florist shop...

He wants to stop and sell the roses!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
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why did the florist go out of business?

Too many problems a rose.

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👤︎ u/perverse_milkman_art
📅︎ Jan 02 2019
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The shipping company has announced a partnership with florists to order flowers online to have them sent anywhere in the world

It's called UPS-edaisy

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👤︎ u/The_Possum
📅︎ Feb 22 2017
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A disreputable friend of mine became a florist.

It sounds like a seedy business.

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👤︎ u/crimote22
📅︎ Dec 31 2015
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The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.

And suddenly I’m the idiot.....

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👤︎ u/Arkham_Asylum27
📅︎ Sep 03 2020
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Why did the florist go out of business?

Too many problems a rose.

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👤︎ u/perverse_milkman_art
📅︎ Jul 26 2015
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