Flexible Puns

I said ‘I can’t make Tuesdays’

Spine.

The Mercedes Bends

Apparently snakes today suffer from a-reptile-disfuntion

I said "I can't do Tuesdays"

They have a tendency to quack

It's very knotty, roped me right in.

Gym instructor said: 'How flexible are you?'

Me: 'I can't make Tuesdays'

I guess that all's well that bends well!

I am not very flexible.

Guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

They offer flexible shifts…

Title explains

Had to change some plans with my dad while I'm in town. So I told him we had to move the day to Thursday.

He said "don't worry I'm flexible"

to which I replied "I'd say that's a bit of a stretch."

He didn't seem to know what I meant so I had to explain I was joking.

"Ahhh I may be flexible but I'm not so bright."

"Don't worry dad, at least the son is."

I have officially become more dad than my own dad.

Got a question. Did u hear about the furious lady who was late and refused entry to her yoga class?? Yeah she couldnt believe they were not more flexible

Must be flexible

Luckly she was freelance so her hours were flexible

My New Year’s resolution is to be more limber and athletic, so I asked the instructor at my gym: “Can you teach me to do the splits in 4 weeks?”

Instructor: ”That depends; how flexible are you?”

Me: ”I can’t make Tuesdays”

She said she'd love to and she's very flexible

The job comes with so much flexibility.

My first original dad joke.

me: "Do you know what's the best thing about being a yoga instructor?"

her: "No... what?"

me: "The flexible hours." :)

I was driving with my brother and saw a sign advertising 'Hot Yoga' classes. So our conversation went like this:

Me: 'Hot Yoga classes?... I always wanted to try Yoga.'

Him: 'Yeah, I heard it can be relaxing and good for your flexibility.'

Me: 'I wonder if they also have Ugly Yoga classes for us?'

Me: if the party is during the time when I'm home for Christmas I'll go, but I don't have any flexibility in my schedule. It's a small window.

Dad: I'm a truck driver. Believe me, I know all about small windows.

I tell her I'm flexible and touch my toes. She is not amused.

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you

can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be

driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends,

family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much

on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit

there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to

stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin

flowing and pumps up the old heart!

At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's

an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART! LOVE EACH OTHER! YEP!

My job is done! Life is too short for negative drama and petty

things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

From one unstable person to another. I hope everyone is happy in your head -

we're all doing pretty well in mine!

Just kidding. All my travel plans are to doctors and the bathroom.

Playing Trivial Pursuit with my dad, best friend and a couple others when my dad asks my friend the question (paraphrasing here, was a long time ago), "What human organ is flexible, washable, and replaces itself continually?" The answer was skin but my friend got it wrong. Dad doesn't miss a beat and says, "It was probably the "washable" that threw you off."

They merely wanted to provide a phone with the flexibility their customers demanded. It's clear that Apple bends over backwards for their fans, and they wanted to build a flagship phone which does so, too.

You could say that the iPhone 6+ is ... ahead of the curve.

I said: ‘I can’t make Tuesdays’

He said ‘How flexible are you?’ I said ‘I can’t make Tuesdays’

He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

The gym teacher said “How flexible are you?”

So the man said “Well, I can’t make Tuesday’s”.