I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me how to do the splits. He said β€˜how flexible are you?’

I said β€˜I can’t make Tuesdays’

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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What is long, rigid, flexible and has the letters p,e,n,I,s?

Spine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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What is the most flexible car

The Mercedes Bends

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptianSoup
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Did you know that all the snakes you see today are broken? They aren't supposed to be bendy and flexible

Apparently snakes today suffer from a-reptile-disfuntion

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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So I rang up a yoga instructor and asked which class I should take. She said "how flexible are you?"

I said "I can't do Tuesdays"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mysevenyearitch
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
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The latest thing in flooring are these ductile floor tiles. They’re great because they’re flexible but...

They have a tendency to quack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mdmcstuffins
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2017
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Have you seen this flexible string that dances?

It's very knotty, roped me right in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaximusVecchitto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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I went to my local Gym to learn to do the splits...

Gym instructor said: 'How flexible are you?'

Me: 'I can't make Tuesdays'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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My personal trainer said flexibility is the foundation of good fitness...

I guess that all's well that bends well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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I would like to start doing Yoga but I can never find the time to.

I am not very flexible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up.

Guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/electric_leper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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I've got a new part time job for a company making rubberised computer keyboards…

They offer flexible shifts…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2017
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Does anyone know any good yoga puns?

Title explains

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nike747
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2015
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My dad text me this. A true dad joke

Got a question. Did u hear about the furious lady who was late and refused entry to her yoga class?? Yeah she couldnt believe they were not more flexible

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conviction666
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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Hit my own father with a back to back. The student has surpassed the master.

Had to change some plans with my dad while I'm in town. So I told him we had to move the day to Thursday.

He said "don't worry I'm flexible"

to which I replied "I'd say that's a bit of a stretch."

He didn't seem to know what I meant so I had to explain I was joking.

"Ahhh I may be flexible but I'm not so bright."

"Don't worry dad, at least the son is."

I have officially become more dad than my own dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uber_battletoad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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I have a job I need filling. Trainee contortionist wanted.

Must be flexible

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Organizing a yoga session was very easy

Luckly she was freelance so her hours were flexible

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadus_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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New Year’s resolution

My New Year’s resolution is to be more limber and athletic, so I asked the instructor at my gym: β€œCan you teach me to do the splits in 4 weeks?”

Instructor: ”That depends; how flexible are you?”

Me: ”I can’t make Tuesdays”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chronicdane
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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I asked a hot contortionist if she'd be free to go out on a date in the next few days

She said she'd love to and she's very flexible

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laluchacontinua
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
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I think I want to become a yoga instructor...

The job comes with so much flexibility.

My first original dad joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FishStix157
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
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My daughter started yoga classes recently

me: "Do you know what's the best thing about being a yoga instructor?"

her: "No... what?"

me: "The flexible hours." :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zooeycamb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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Hot Yoga

I was driving with my brother and saw a sign advertising 'Hot Yoga' classes. So our conversation went like this:

Me: 'Hot Yoga classes?... I always wanted to try Yoga.'

Him: 'Yeah, I heard it can be relaxing and good for your flexibility.'

Me: 'I wonder if they also have Ugly Yoga classes for us?'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiklion
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2014
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I talk to my dad like twice a year and he still managed to dadjoke me on the phone.

Me: if the party is during the time when I'm home for Christmas I'll go, but I don't have any flexibility in my schedule. It's a small window.

Dad: I'm a truck driver. Believe me, I know all about small windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sara_Shenanigans
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2015
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Not a parent yet but the girlfriend asks if it's okay to book a flight which returns at 1 am on our usual date night.

I tell her I'm flexible and touch my toes. She is not amused.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpeakItLoud
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2016
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My great uncle just dadjoked me with this email.

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you

can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be

driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends,

family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much

on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit

there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to

stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin

flowing and pumps up the old heart!

At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's

an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART! LOVE EACH OTHER! YEP!

My job is done! Life is too short for negative drama and petty

things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

From one unstable person to another. I hope everyone is happy in your head -

we're all doing pretty well in mine!

Just kidding. All my travel plans are to doctors and the bathroom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dantheman757
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2014
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Trivial pursuit with dad...

Playing Trivial Pursuit with my dad, best friend and a couple others when my dad asks my friend the question (paraphrasing here, was a long time ago), "What human organ is flexible, washable, and replaces itself continually?" The answer was skin but my friend got it wrong. Dad doesn't miss a beat and says, "It was probably the "washable" that threw you off."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/relativex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
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You have to admit, Apple is being treated unfairly after the recent news about the iPhone 6+...

They merely wanted to provide a phone with the flexibility their customers demanded. It's clear that Apple bends over backwards for their fans, and they wanted to build a flagship phone which does so, too.

You could say that the iPhone 6+ is ... ahead of the curve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeMaijstral
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
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I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He said how flexible are you? I said I can’t do Fridays.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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I said to the gym instructor: β€˜Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: β€˜How flexible are you?’

I said: β€˜I can’t make Tuesdays’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RightProperGeezer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
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So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"

He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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So a man asked his gym teacher to teach him to do the splits...

The gym teacher said β€œHow flexible are you?”

So the man said β€œWell, I can’t make Tuesday’s”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_King_Of_Pop
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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