It seems that most people feel that Sulla let Mithridates off lightly. Was it because he felt in a vulnerable position driving on Pontus while a Roman army could show up at any time? If Cinna had kept the legions in Italy would Sulla have felt free to conclude the war the way Pompey did later?
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
I think Harrow’s brain was scrambled by the tomb and Gideon was not her first lobotomy.
Gideon tells the tomb story twice. Once to Palamedes:
>>By the time Harrow was ten years old, she had glutted herself on secrets…Harrow became obsessed with the Locked Door. There was no key to the Locked Door. Maybe there had never been a key to the Locked Door. It simply didn’t open.
>>Just hours before, she’d wrestled Harrow down in the dirt, and Harrow had scratched until she’d had half of Gideon’s face beneath her fingernails.
>>“I was eleven,” said Gideon. “And here I am, narking all over again.”
Once to herself at the end of HtN:
>> You clawed my face so bad that my blood ran down your hands; my face was under your fucking fingernails…Were you ten, Harrow? Was I eleven? Was that the day you decided you wanted to die?
In both versions, Harrow is ten and covered in Gideon’s blood on the day she opens the door.
Harrow tells the story three times. Once to Gideon in the pool:
>>“Beyond the doors there’s just the rock,” she said. “The rock and the tomb surrounded by water. I won’t bore you with the magic or the locks, or the wards or the barriers: just know that it took me a year to walk six steps inside, and that it nearly killed me then. There’s a blood ward bypass on the doors which will only respond for the Necromancer Divine, but I knew there had to be an exploit, a way through for the true and devout tomb-keeper.
Doors first (which Gideon described), which will only open with Griddle’s blood. Then one year to get all the way inside. That gives the impression Harrow is 10 when she opens it and 11 by the time she busts through.
Then Harrow tells the story to herself:
>>One very bad day—when it seemed as though everyone hated her, and as though this were a completely correct way to feel—with bloodied fists and a bruised heart, she wrote a note explaining her suicide then went and unlocked the door. Unexpectedly, this did not kill her; and what did not kill her made her curious.
>>She was much older before she could cross the threshold.
>>She was nine, and she’d made a mistake.
This time she places her suicide at 9 years old (which is wrong).
Then Harrow tells John:
>>I was nine years old when I began, and ten by the time I could traverse the shaft. I spent a whole year working on nothing but those locks. When I came to the blood ward on the stone, the ward of the tomb-keeper, I di
... keep reading on reddit ➡They’re on standbi
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
[Removed]
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
