Shit's gone up!
A Tractor
Ovariesy.
I saw a short man selling food. He was a little grocer
I guess that makes me an entremanure!
Because it's like casting swirls before pines.
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
Step 1: A tractor
Step 2: Fertilizer
Heard the business was expanding
I got a standing ovulation.
It's a fuckin rock.
Spruce Springsteen
Wood you be able to fertilize this post and branch out this list?
New guy: That sounds like bullshit.
Farmer: Yes, exactly.
What a load of crap!
A tractor
There's no vas deferens, really..
Iโm having problems with my male delivery.
The plot thickens.
First, a tractor.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me!
I don't know what they're talking about, all I do is spreadsheet.
Zygote go.
Cockadoodle-do-do.
We are expecting a baby through in-vitro fertilization. The other day he said "Hey, dad-to-be, I have a womb with a view!"
Sounds like an ovary action to me...
Thatโs just bullshit man
It shouted, โI want mower!โ
It was a pretty shit montage
After a long and arduous hike, Attle is tired. "How much longer dad? Are you sure its is this way?"
"Son, trust me! Now stay close to me ok!"
Finally, Battle reaches a good viewpoint, and spots an island in the distance.
He excitedly yells: "Attle! Come on, hurry up, I think I found it".
Attle catches up to his dad. "Where is it?"
Battle points to the island, and says "Seattle"!
The plot thickens...
So now I moo the lawn.
A shitstorm.
Wife: How's the market today?
Me: Grain is up in rows, livestock is outstanding in the field.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Egg
They planet
Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract. Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.
A farmer goes into a bar and says "please help I just ran out of fertilizer" a man then yells at him "why should I give a shit"
Fertilized
The waitress came to take our order, starting with my heavily pregnant wife. When the waitress asked how my wife would like her eggs, I quickly replied: Fertilized!
Waitress laughed her head off, wife gave disapproving look.
My wife is 8 weeks pregnant with our first (twins, actually). Today we had an ultrasound to check on them before my wife is officially transferred from the fertility specialist to her OB/GYN.
Nurse: Both heartbeats are a healthy 144.
Me: Gross.
Nurse: What?.... Oh. (nervous laugh)
Wife: (facepalm)
Me: (ear-to-ear grin)
During a night of passionate love making from a couple of German newlyweds, a group of sperm travel, all with the hope to be the one to fertilize the egg. A pair of sperm find themselves in a heated argument:
"I vill be the one who gets there first, after all, I am from the left testicle, we are known for our speed!" gloated the one sperm.
"Nein! It vill be I! I hail from the right testicle - known for its efficiency!" yelled the other.
"Well we lefties are known for our cunning, I will definitely out maneuver you!"
"The right vill be VICTORIOUS!" "Nein! the left vill be TRIUMPHANT!!!" "LEFT!" "RIGHT!" "LEFT!!!!!" "RIIIIGGGHHHTT!!!"
Finally fed up from the constant bickering, a sperm from the front of the load yells
"OH VAS DEFERENS DOES IT MAKE?!"
So I work at a fertilizer plant and we have a weekly team meeting. This one maintenance guy brings in a bearing that failed the week before to show it to us.
My supervisor: "Ahh I see you've come with gifts."
Me: "No, he's come bearing gifts."
Room was filled with laughter and groans.
A Tractor.
Fertilizer.
