The greatest baseball player ever was a guy named Hugh McBealy, and he was most famous for every single time he came to the plate knocking the ball high over right field and into the stands.

He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.

He earned the nickname β€œthe machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.

And the day he retired a reporter asked him β€œHow does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”

Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. β€œWhat do you mean?” He said.

The reporter clarified β€œliterally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”

Hugh looked dejected and disappointed β€œyeah, my greatest failure...”

β€œWhat do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.

Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.

β€œI’ve been aiming left this whole time”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frnklfrwsr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...

She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
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What did french tanning cream do to a famous basketball player?

It LeBronzed James

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poogart
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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My stepdad's riddle from last night. Hint: It's a famous piano player.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sew5MittensAgo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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Cow jokes

My carpool buddy was hitting me with these on the way to work today.

"What car do classy cows drive? "

  • Cowdillacs

"What cars do redneck cows drive?"

  • Cowmaros and Moostangs. I added that they are also a fan of COWl induction.

"Who's the longest standing baseball player?"

  • Cowl Ripken

"Have you heard of the famous bovine biologist, Jaques Cowsteau?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/makaimashava
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
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