Not an express pun, but great pun- based game.

It's called Punfound, on android and ios. Check it out!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/graybush333
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2016
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I came home from work upset. "My boss fired me because I expressed my opinion," I told my wife.

She said, "That's a human right."

I said, "Yes, my boss is a human."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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I'm new to expressing my gender identity

I only have amateur-nouns.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drakeonaplane
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2021
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Walking around the mall with my daughter and we decided to go down a level. She expressed disappointment the elevator was broken,

I told her, " The escalator is just like an elevator but with extra steps."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Training-Brick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2021
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My therapist just told me that I’m completely incapable of expressing my feelings.

Can’t say that I’m surprised.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2021
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I wanted to crack a joke on trains. I could not EXPRESS it well

Think, I'll need a COACH

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Slypikachu69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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β€œMy fifth grade teacher started the first day of school by expressing her doubts and apprehension for the year ahead.”

β€œOh, that’s awful. Who was that?”

β€œMiss Givings.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sellwinerugs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2021
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I have difficulty expressing myself.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2020
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Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problems with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about eating the mother of two.

But upon further consideration he was gladiator.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AShiggles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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Can I express the right orientation?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word β€œthe” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...

your los.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rscott1691
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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My child recently told me that their gender can't be expressed by an integer fraction,

I'm supportive but that just seems irrational.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BigGayDinosaurs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 22 2020
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I want to Express my daughter's age as a fraction 6/12, 9/12, 16/12 etc.. my wife is really upset about it.

In our house It's really causing some division

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lornstar7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 22 2020
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
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Polar express
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emo_rat_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2020
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I worked with this guy Rob once...

...who was trying to hide he was bald. He damaged his hairpiece, not sure how, and was having a new one shipped to the office.

He was already kind of embarrassed and told us all, if you see a package for Peters (his last name) just put it on my desk. So I happen to be the one who sees it and as I'm bringing it to him my other coworker Paul asks what I have in my hands.

"Oh this?" I say, "this is Rob Peters' toupee, Paul."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JSNhova
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2021
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When You order some High Speed Trains from Ali Express... youtube.com/watch?v=5LwMp…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bad_Bobby2009
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2019
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That’s a rational expression.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 52
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chocolaterush
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 22 2019
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Not just barbers

Quirky animal lovers use their hare to express themselves

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/technically_a_user
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2021
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Hey y'all, I thought Panda Express didn't have MSG in it...

...but I keep finding all of these MSGs in my fortune cookies.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FootballerJoeMontana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2019
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I wonder if there will be a term for a President who’s been impeached twice

At least I know there won’t be two terms!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Agrajag22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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You know that expression "a watched pot never boils"?

Because when you watch it, you put it under pressure!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thenolanful
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2020
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Do you know where the expression, β€œbe there or be square” comes from?

If you’re not there, you’re not around.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/batmanjerkins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2018
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I see there's a new express coffee delivery service in town

It's call Purcolator.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Moosetappropriate
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
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polynomials (algebraic expressions) are not to be confused with poly gnome meals (food for plastic gnomes)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tananar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2019
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How does a tree express its feelings on a stage?

Through a mono-log.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/axeteam
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2018
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What do the green aliens from planet express order when they’re at the bar?

Duclawwwwwwwww

Edit: **Pizza Planet. Coffee had not kicked in yet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2019
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Not mine but hay, its still pretty good
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/W4ffl3copter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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Taylor Swift could further increase her revenue by opening an express alterations shop

and calling it Tailor Swift

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timeexterminator
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2019
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How does Tom Hanks express his gratitude?

T.Hanks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RealisticFake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 28 2018
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What do breast pumps and I statements have in common?

They help you express yourself.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Grandviewsurfer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...

So there were 6 of us...

With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)

There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".

Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"

The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.

Best day of my comedic life

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2020
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Express train to hell. imgur.com/09X5ikf
πŸ‘οΈŽ 346
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 31 2016
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Why couldn’t the water express its feelings?

Because it was all bottled up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoDamnHardToGetAName
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2019
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There's a girl group that consist of failed fashion models.

They are called One Expression

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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TIL: The new popular therapy technique calls to express anger at everything, no matter how small the issue may be.

It’s all the rage.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2019
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What do you call a trite verbal expression that just falls flat?

A Latitude.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JojoBaliah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2018
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The Doors, in 1966, heard the news about Buddhist monks performing acts of self immolation. After listening to what was occurring, they decided to make a heartfelt song to express their solidarity with the Buddhist plight.

And that’s why we have a song called β€œLight my Friar”.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2019
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If I had a pound for every time I misunderstood a common expression,..

I’d weigh a ton.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2018
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Some meaningful words
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beerendaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2018
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Nice and dead behind the eyes for my own pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 949
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/emilyallday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
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I wasn't amused when my friend stole my equivalent trigonometric expressions

Identity theft is not a joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GuyInFridge
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 08 2019
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My Taiwanese boss is a real go getter but often has difficulty expressing his emotions effectively.

I guess you could say he has a Taipei personality.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EeyoreSmooth11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2018
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I just found out that β€œAaarghh” is not a real word.

I can’t express how angry that makes me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2018
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My therapist just told me that I’m completely incapable of expressing my feelings.

Can’t say I’m surprised.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 824
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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My therapist just told me that I'm completely incapable of expressing my feelings.

Can't say I'm surprised.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 177
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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